Some people want governments to spend money looking for life on other planets. Others, however, think this is a waste of public money when there are so many problems on earth. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.
Some say that the government should invest more
money
to for search life in other galactic, while
others say that it is a waste of money
and we have more crucial problems on the earth to spend money
. It can be a huge discovery if we find new life, but I believe that there are really more things to worry about on our planet. Like global warming and a huge amount of garbage.
On the one hand, it will be the biggest opening in the history of humanity, if we find the other civilisation. It can be a good upgrade for our technology because this
alien can be more developed than us or at least have other things that we do not know. For example
, a few months ago I read the news about this
topic and there
discussed how it can be a huge step for humanity. BecauseCorrect pronoun usage
they
,
there probably will be creatures that are more clever than us.
Remove the comma
apply
On the other hand
, on our planet, there are more things that we should worry about. Such
problems like a big
number of trash that increases every year and global warming Correct word choice
large
that
puts people on Earth Correct pronoun usage
apply
in
a huge threat. Scientists of the world, every year tell us what danger we are in now, and for a solution to Change preposition
under
this
problem every person in the world must do his role and the government should spend more money
on this
problem.
In conclusion, some people say that we must give more money
for researching lives on other planets because it can help us to develop more
faster, but I and others believe that it will be good if we put Change the word
apply
this
moneymoney
into solutions to the problems that we have in our world.Correct your spelling
money money
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task achievement
The essay adequately addresses the task by discussing both views and gives a personal opinion. However, the ideas could be more comprehensively developed with further specific examples to strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
While sentences are generally logical and connected, working on smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs would enhance the essay's coherence. Terms like 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' already help, but more variety in transitional phrases could improve flow.
language accuracy
Some minor grammatical errors and vocabulary missteps are present. Refining these will improve clarity and professionalism. For instance, 'money to for search life' can be corrected to 'money to search for life.'
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly presents both sides of the argument and states a clear opinion.
logical structure
The essay uses appropriate paragraphing and each paragraph focuses on a distinct point, which helps in maintaining a clear structure.
supported main points
The essay presents a balanced view, discussing both perspectives quite clearly and objectively.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite