Some people want governments to spend money looking for life on other planets. Others, however, think this is a waste of public money when there are so many problems on earth. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

Some say that the government should invest more
money
to for search life in other galactic,
while
others say that it is a waste of
money
and we have more crucial problems on the earth to spend
money
. It can be a huge discovery if we find new life, but I believe that there are really more things to worry about on our planet. Like global warming and a huge amount of garbage. On the one hand, it will be the biggest opening in the history of humanity, if we find the other civilisation. It can be a good upgrade for our technology because
this
alien can be more developed than us or at least have other things that we do not know.
For example
, a few months ago I read the news about
this
topic and
there
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
discussed how it can be a huge step for humanity. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
there probably will be creatures that are more clever than us.
On the other hand
, on our planet, there are more things that we should worry about.
Such
problems like a
big
Correct word choice
large
show examples
number of trash that increases every year and global warming
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
puts people on Earth
in
Change preposition
under
show examples
a huge threat. Scientists of the world, every year tell us what danger we are in now, and for a solution to
this
problem every person in the world must do his role and the government should spend more
money
on
this
problem. In conclusion, some people say that we must give more
money
for researching lives on other planets because it can help us to develop
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
faster, but I and others believe that it will be good if we put
this
moneymoney
Correct your spelling
money money
into solutions to the problems that we have in our world.
Submitted by Kawasaki on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
The essay adequately addresses the task by discussing both views and gives a personal opinion. However, the ideas could be more comprehensively developed with further specific examples to strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
While sentences are generally logical and connected, working on smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs would enhance the essay's coherence. Terms like 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' already help, but more variety in transitional phrases could improve flow.
language accuracy
Some minor grammatical errors and vocabulary missteps are present. Refining these will improve clarity and professionalism. For instance, 'money to for search life' can be corrected to 'money to search for life.'
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly presents both sides of the argument and states a clear opinion.
logical structure
The essay uses appropriate paragraphing and each paragraph focuses on a distinct point, which helps in maintaining a clear structure.
supported main points
The essay presents a balanced view, discussing both perspectives quite clearly and objectively.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • unprecedented opportunities
  • extraterrestrial
  • satisfy human curiosity
  • practical benefits
  • inspiring goal
  • testament to human ambition
  • pursuit of knowledge
  • critics argue
  • imprudent
  • plague Earth
  • immediate attention
  • allocated for
  • environmental conservation
  • well-being
  • quality of life
  • balanced approach
  • advancements
  • benefits for humanity
What to do next:
Look at other essays: