Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal while some people believe that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both views and give your opinion
In the past few decades, there has been a tremendous increase in the number of politicians prioritising economic output. On one hand, there are those who argue that economic advances are pivotal to a country and its population's well-being.
However
, critics, including myself, strongly oppose this
view and instead
believe that other sectors
, such
as healthcare
, are more vital/crucial/essential to a country’s development.
To begin
with, there is an argument to be made that economic growth is central to a country’s overall
development and overall
quality of life. For example
, the higher the GDP of a country, the greater the social impact it has on the population, leading to more companies being able to hire additional staff and rising
salaries. Verb problem
raise
For
this
reason, it is evident that a strong economy
equates to consumers spending more on goods and services, which ultimately leads to them being happier with their lives. What is more, without a booming economy
, the government is unable to fund other sectors
, such
as education or transportation services. This
being the case, it can be assumed that if economic output is weak, this
would be detrimental to society as a whole.
Nonetheless
, it must be stated that investing in healthcare
reaps more rewards to society than economic strength. For instance
, the US has the strongest economy
in the world, yet 50,000 of its citizens entered personal bankruptcy due to
medical debt in the last
year alone. Therefore
, it is clear that
a bustling economy
does not necessarily help everyone in society, which is why it is of the utmost importance to ensure proper funding to other social sectors
. Furthermore
, a failing healthcare
system debilitates the overall
economy
, as there are often fewer employees in the workforce to drive the economy
forward. With this
in mind, there is no doubt that if a government does not prioritise the healthcare
system, both the population and economic status of the aforementioned nation will suffer.
To conclude
, whilst some are under the impression that economic progress leads to higher standards of living, others, myself included, firmly believe that other sectors
, especially healthcare
, hold more value. From my perspective, investing in healthcare
provides more benefits to a country’s growth than focusing on economic gains, as without it a nation’s economy
could stagnate.Submitted by ototonji.ot on
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task achievement
The essay introduces the subject and presents a contrast between the two views, with a clear stance taken, which is good for task achievement. However, it must more directly address the prompt throughout the essay and fully develop an argument for the highest scores.
coherence cohesion
The essay makes use of linking words and has a clear paragraph structure, but the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and could be enhanced with more sophisticated use of discourse markers and referencing.
Your opinion
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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?