Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal while some people believe that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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In the past few decades, there has been a tremendous increase in the number of politicians prioritising economic output. On one hand, there are those who argue that economic advances are pivotal to a country and its population's well-being.
However
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, critics, including myself, strongly oppose
this
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view and
instead
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believe that other
sectors
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,
such
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as
healthcare
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, are more vital/crucial/essential to a country’s development.
To begin
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with, there is an argument to be made that economic growth is central to a country’s
overall
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development and
overall
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quality of life.
For example
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, the higher the GDP of a country, the greater the social impact it has on the population, leading to more companies being able to hire additional staff and
rising
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raise
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salaries.
For
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this
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reason, it is evident that a strong
economy
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equates to consumers spending more on goods and services, which ultimately leads to them being happier with their lives. What is more, without a booming
economy
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, the government is unable to fund other
sectors
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,
such
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as education or transportation services.
This
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being the case, it can be assumed that if economic output is weak,
this
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would be detrimental to society as a whole.
Nonetheless
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, it must be stated that investing in
healthcare
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reaps more rewards to society than economic strength.
For instance
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, the US has the strongest
economy
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in the world, yet 50,000 of its citizens entered personal bankruptcy
due to
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medical debt in the
last
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year alone.
Therefore
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,
it is clear that
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a bustling
economy
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does not necessarily help everyone in society, which is why it is of the utmost importance to ensure proper funding to other social
sectors
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.
Furthermore
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, a failing
healthcare
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system debilitates the
overall
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economy
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, as there are often fewer employees in the workforce to drive the
economy
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forward. With
this
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in mind, there is no doubt that if a government does not prioritise the
healthcare
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system, both the population and economic status of the aforementioned nation will suffer.
To conclude
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, whilst some are under the impression that economic progress leads to higher standards of living, others, myself included, firmly believe that other
sectors
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, especially
healthcare
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, hold more value. From my perspective, investing in
healthcare
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provides more benefits to a country’s growth than focusing on economic gains, as without it a nation’s
economy
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could stagnate.
Submitted by ototonji.ot on

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task achievement
The essay introduces the subject and presents a contrast between the two views, with a clear stance taken, which is good for task achievement. However, it must more directly address the prompt throughout the essay and fully develop an argument for the highest scores.
coherence cohesion
The essay makes use of linking words and has a clear paragraph structure, but the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and could be enhanced with more sophisticated use of discourse markers and referencing.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • sustainable development
  • social equality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • technological innovation
  • wealth disparity
  • human development index
  • holistic approach
  • quality of life
  • economic prosperity
  • healthcare system
  • education system
  • cultural diversity
  • policy decisions
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