IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Increasing quantity of vehicles poses challenges in urban areas. Identify some problems related to this development and suggest the ways to cope with this situation.

The rapid increase in the number of
vehicles
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 in urban areas has brought about significant challenges that affect both the quality of
life
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 for residents and the environment. As cities continue to grow and more people rely on personal
vehicles
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 for their daily commute, issues
such
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 as
traffic
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 congestion, air
pollution
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, and road safety have become pressing concerns. One of the most pressing issues is
traffic
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 jam, which results in longer commute times, increased fuel consumption, and heightened frustration among drivers. It
also
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 raises air
pollution
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, contributing to broader environmental concerns. Another main problem is
noise
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pollution
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. The continuous movement of
vehicles
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 generates considerable
noise
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, which can disrupt daily
life
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 and negatively affect human health. Prolonged exposure to high
noise
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 levels can lead to hearing loss, sleep disturbances, and increased stress, all of which can reduce the
overall
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 quality of
life
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 in urban areas. To address these issues, cities can promote public transportation by making it more efficient, affordable, and accessible, which would reduce the number of personal
vehicles
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 on the road. Developing safe and extensive bicycle lanes and pedestrian pathways can encourage walking and cycling,
further
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 decreasing vehicle use. Encouraging the adoption of electric
vehicles
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 through incentives and improving charging infrastructure can
also
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 help reduce air and
noise
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pollution
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.
Additionally
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, implementing smart
traffic
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 management systems that optimize
traffic
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 flow using real-time data can alleviate congestion and improve road safety. In conclusion, the surge in vehicle numbers in urban areas presents significant problems. Adopting these strategies, not only enhances the quality of
life
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 for urban residents but
also
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 contributes to the creation of more sustainable and livable cities for future generations.

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task achievement
While the essay comprehensively addresses the problems related to the increasing quantity of vehicles in urban areas, it could benefit from providing more specific examples or data to strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay is logically structured and flows well from one point to the next. However, ensure each main point is thoroughly linked to the suggested solutions with clear transitions for maximum clarity.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction effectively sets the context and outlines the main issues related to the topic.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion successfully summarizes the main points and solutions, providing a clear and concise ending to the essay.
clear comprehensive ideas
The essay provides clear and comprehensive ideas, addressing both problems and solutions in a balanced manner.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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