Advertising discourages people from being different individuals by making us all want to do the same and look the same. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
With society's rapid development,
advertisements
have become more varied than before. Advertising influences modern people
’s thinking and how they define it. Some believe that advertisements
tend to put people
on the same page, but others don’t. I agree with the former, and I will elaborate the
detail in Change preposition
on the
this
essay.
First and foremost, the primary reason is that advertisements
always advocate a specific aesthetic. To be more specific, the adman is prone to promoting products and services that have/equip/possess high economic value based on considerable profit, leading people
to buy the same goods and services the advertiser
provides. For instance
, jeans were a typical outfit for local American farmers working on the farm. However
, after being packaged by the commercials, jeans became one of the trends in the world and sold at high prices. As a result
, the advertisement allows people
to have a convergence of opinion due to
the capital operation.
Another reason is that advertisements
look so similar that it is difficult to distinguish them. To be more detailed, current advertisements
use the same models and patterns. Moreover
, they imitate high-reach works to attract/appeal consumers' eyeballs/focus/attention. This
approach causes people
to watch and see/browse the same content, which disturbs people
’s thinking process. For example
, short videos
influence people
abundantly. Creators use some ways to attract people
’s attention, such
as using the same music, filming techniques, and brainwashing content. In the advertiser
’s aspect, high-reach videos
or works can bring more profit to them. Consequently
, social media
traffic and advertiser
induction lead to undifferentiated advertisements
.
For example
, short videos
are continually exposed, causing people
’s brains to have delayed reactions and be easily brainwashed. Potential consumers imitate and replicate the values by osmosis derived from the visual impact of long-term short videos
. Consequently
, social media
traffic and advertiser
induction lead to undifferentiated advertisements
.
To conclude
, I reaffirmed that advertisements
lead people
to be the same individuals with no distinctive differences. Modern beauty standards and social media
influence people
to accept their desired content. Moreover
, along with
advertiser
propaganda, the balance line becomes more blurred. Hence
, it is undeniable that media
literacy is essential to people
and should be emphasized.Submitted by cba8887 on
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General
Some sentences are awkwardly phrased and can be simplified for better readability. For example, instead of saying 'advertisements tend to put people on the same page,' you could say 'advertisements tend to make people similar.'
Task Response
You have repetitive ideas in the concluding paragraph. Try to avoid redundancy and ensure each sentence adds new information or reinforces your argument uniquely.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to avoid informal language such as 'eyeballs' and 'brainwashing.' Opt for more formal terms like 'attention' and 'strong influence.'
Task Response
The essay provides relevant, specific examples to support the argument, such as the discussion about jeans and short videos. This strengthens the task response and demonstrates a good understanding of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame the argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
The main points are logically structured, and there is a clear progression of ideas throughout the essay.
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