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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph shows the number of visitors to a variety of art galleries in 2011. Summarize the information by selecting and repo fling the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph shows the number of visitors to a variety of art galleries in 2011. Summarize the information by selecting and repo fling the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart illustrates
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of visitors to art galleries in six different countries in the year 2011.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 a majority of the
people
Use synonyms
 visited
Louvre
Correct article usage
the Louvre
show examples
 in France
whereas
Linking Words
 a few
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 went to
State
Correct article usage
the State
show examples
 Hermitage in Russia. First of all, we can see that
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
 number of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
visitors went to
Louvre
Correct article usage
the Louvre
show examples
 in France. Roughly 8.8
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 went to
Louvre
Correct article usage
the Louvre
show examples
 as there are many famous paintings and sculptures from all around the world. It was followed by
Metropolitan
Correct article usage
the Metropolitan
show examples
Museum
Use synonyms
 in the USA where 6
million
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 visited which was
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
double
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
visitors
Correct quantifier usage
number of visitors
show examples
 who went to
National
Correct article usage
the National
show examples
Use synonyms
museum
Capitalize word
Museum
show examples
 of Korea. Next was the British
Museum
Use synonyms
 in the UK having a figure of approximately 5.8
million
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 visited in 2011. Taking a close look at the
gragh
Correct your spelling
graph
, it is seen that
people
Use synonyms
 visiting art galleries in Korea, Spain and Russia had
silimar
Correct your spelling
similar
 figures. Around 3.2
million
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 visited
National
Correct article usage
the National
show examples
Use synonyms
museum
Capitalize word
Museum
show examples
 of Korea which was followed by Museu del Prado in Spain rating 3
million
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
. Even though there was a difference of 0.2
million
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
, the least was
State
Correct article usage
the State
show examples
 Hermitage in Russia having nearly 2.8
million
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 visiting.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, museum, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • visitor numbers
  • fluctuations
  • peak season
  • off-peak season
  • trend
  • visitor demographics
  • attendance
  • special exhibition
  • promotional campaign
  • footfall
  • gallery capacity
  • cultural attraction
  • art enthusiasts
  • exhibit
  • statistical comparison
  • tourist attraction
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