In some schools and universities, girls tend to choose arts subjects (e.g., literature, history), and boys tend to choose science subjects (e.g., physics, mathematics). Why do you think this is so? Should this tendency be changed?

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There is a noticeable dissimilarity between girls and boys in choosing majors at universities. More boys participate in scientific majors,

while

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more girls prefer art subjects.

This

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tendency is influenced by the unique biological functions of each gender and outdated societal prejudices. I firmly believe that society can benefit if more girls participate in scientific classes.

To begin

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, the distinctive biological functions of each gender contribute to

this

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disparity. One significant factor is that

women

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are often advised to conceive before the age of 30, which can shorten and disrupt their scientific career paths.

As a result

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women

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may find their knowledge becomes outdated, and it is challenging to return to their positions after a long disruptive period

due to

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deterrents

such

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as childcare responsibilities, stagnation, and a perceived decrease in logical thinking ability.

Consequently

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, female scientists often struggle to compete with their male counterparts, who do not face

such

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disruptions in their careers.

Additionally

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, societal pressure from relatives can influence

women

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’s choice of majors, steering them towards stable jobs like accounting or reception work

instead

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of more demanding scientific fields.

Nevertheless

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, there is a general consensus that these factors stifle world development to a lesser extent. The lack of female attendance in scientific classes has limited technical advancements because the perspectives of both genders are needed to generate innovative solutions.

For instance

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, the contributions of

women

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scientists like Marie Curie, who made groundbreaking discoveries in physics and chemistry, highlight the potential benefits of having more

women

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in science. Curie's discoveries of Polonium and Radium and her pioneering research in their applications,

such

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as the development of X-ray machines, have had profound impacts on medical diagnostics.

To conclude

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, addressing and overcoming these detrimental prejudices can lead to a better world with more contributions from gifted

women

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in scientific fields.

lenam2k1Sat Jun 08 2024

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task achievement

The essay offers a clear and relevant response to the prompt, providing reasons for the gender disparity in subject choice and arguing for change. However, expanding on the societal influence with more concrete examples could strengthen the argument.

coherence cohesion

The ideas in the essay are logically structured and easy to follow. However, some transitions could be smoother to enhance coherence, such as linking the ideas about societal expectations more clearly to the main argument.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a robust introduction and conclusion, framing the argument well.

task achievement

The inclusion of specific examples, like the mention of Marie Curie, effectively supports the main points and adds depth to the argument.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

299 words

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In some schools and universities, girls tend to choose arts subjects (e.g., literature, history), and boys tend to choose science subjects (e.g., physics, mathematics). Why do you think this is so? Should this tendency be changed?

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