Mobile phones and the Internet play an important role in the way people relate to one another socially. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

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Technology, especially cell phones and the
internet
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, has become a crucial way of
communication
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between
people
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in communities.
This
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essay strongly agrees with the given statement:
Firstly
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, it reduces the
cost
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of
communication
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;
secondly
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, it saves immense
time
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with respect to manual writing
communication
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.
To begin
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with, the
cost
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of
communication
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between
people
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’s smartphones and the
internet
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has saved immense money. With that being said, in the past, when
people
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were travelling abroad, their SIM cards were switched automatically to roaming mode, which obviously
cost
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them a huge amount of money when they were calling home or friends.
However
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, now they are using mobile apps and the WiFi
internet
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anywhere in the world to eliminate extra expenses.
For instance
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, many
people
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in my country use WhatsApp to talk and send messages at no
cost
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.
On the other hand
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, the nuanced proverb “
Time
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is money.” Can be associated with using a phone and the
internet
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to save
time
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while
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people
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are communicating socially with their friends and relatives;
moreover
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,
people
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nowadays heavily rely on virtual meetings and group calls in order to cut
time
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for other work.
For example
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, in my community a few years ago, we were distributing wedding cards physically to our relatives' homes, but now we are sending their cards to their mobile phones, which is really convenient in terms of
time
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-saving. In conclusion, the era of technology facilitates how easily we can talk with our loved ones domestically and all around the world at a cheaper price.
Additionally
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, it helps us to save our precious
time
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to be more productive in other aspects of our lives.
However
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,
this
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essay strongly agreed and illustrated the benefits of using a cell phone and the
internet
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.
Submitted by am.edrees on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frames your argument. However, ensure that each paragraph centers around a single main idea to maintain clarity.
task achievement
Expand on points and examples a bit more to enhance comprehension. For example, instead of just mentioning WhatsApp, discuss why it is particularly useful and perhaps compare it to other communication methods.
task achievement
You provided relevant and specific examples, such as the use of WhatsApp and sending wedding cards digitally, which help to illustrate your points well.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of your essay, reinforcing the argument presented.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical flow and is easy to follow, with each paragraph transitioning smoothly to the next.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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