IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Banking and payment methods. The role of banks in the modern world. Large banks and their work. Working with clients.

#payment #methods #role #banks #world #work #clients
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Banking and funding are very important for the functioning of the modern world. Without
banks
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, the way we benefit capital would not work.
Banks
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 enable people to save money, borrow money and pay for things with ease and security. Each country in the world has its own well-known
banks
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 that have branches in nearly every city so they are convenient for people to use. People often have to visit the local branch of the
bank
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 when they want certain services. There are
also
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 some very big multinational
banks
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 that have offices in most countries in the world.
As well as
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 the local sections that are in most cities, each
bank
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 will
also
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 have a head office.
This
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 is where all central tasks are performed that let the local arm function. The workers who serve the office will be the manager, the person in charge, and various tellers who work behind the stock counter and help the clients. There will
also
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 likely be security guards to protect the fund, workers and business. Most clients will just need to see the tellers when they go to the
bank
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 if they are paying cash into their account as either cash or a check.
However
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, they might need to see the
bank
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 manager if they want to open an account or if they have become overdrawn when they have spent more payment than there was in the account.
Also
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 if they want to borrow money and get a loan the person will need to see the
bank
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 manager who will have to approve it.
As well as
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 being able to use cash or checks to pay for things,
banks
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also
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 offer their customers the more convenient methods of using either a debit
card
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 or credit
card
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. These methods are very convenient as you just need to carry a small plastic
card
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 to be able to pay for anything. When paying with plastic you will need to either sign a receipt or enter a PIN number to confirm the purchase and that you are authorized to use the
card
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.
Submitted by lioness1970 on

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Task Achievement
Consider giving specific examples or case studies to illustrate the impact of banking and payment methods in the modern world, enhancing the relevance and specificity of your examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
To improve the introduction and conclusion, aim for a stronger thesis statement and a summary that reflects on the broader implications or future of banking and payment methods.
Coherence and Cohesion
For higher marks in coherence and cohesion, vary your sentence structures and transitions more to create a smoother flow of ideas.
Task Achievement
The essay effectively covers the role of banks, their operations, and the advancements in payment methods, showing a good understanding of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
Logical structuring of paragraphs around distinct aspects of banking provides clarity and aids the reader's comprehension.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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