You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Organized tours to remote community and other countries are increasingly popular. Is it a positive or negative development for the local people and environment? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

As tours to secluded communities and remote countries are increasingly popular, there has arisen a debate about whether these tours are positive for aborigines and the local
environment
. From my perspective, the flourishing of
tourism
helps to improve their living standard, but to a certain extent is harmful to their surroundings. That the development of
tourism
can jeopardise the local
environment
has been repeatedly demonstrated by practical examples. For illustration, Jiuzhougou, an expanse of primitive forest in which lakes lie scattered, was a characteristic example of sacrificing the
environment
for the boost of the economy. The local government has been widening the area of scenic spots to accommodate more tourists, which has brought a large amount of plastic waste, seriously endangering the habitat of local wildlife. The situation in Jiuzhaigou is not an exception, happening in many places, especially in developing countries, as they have a stronger willingness to develop the economy at the expense of the
environment
.
Then
it seems reasonable
to conclude
that we should restrict
this
kind of
tourism
for the sake of the local
environment
.
However
,
this
opinion is obviously from outsiders who do not live in isolated islands and do not have to endure the scarcity of basic necessities. Actually, for most people struggling to live, transient environmental costs are acceptable. Research from the UN suggests that the majority of African people in poverty welcome the development of
tourism
,
Remove the comma
apply
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since they believe
this
will improve local transport systems and living standards. Over 30% of subjects welcome governments' "more radical exploitation". Seen from
this
aspect, tours to remote areas are positive for local people. To summarise,
although
tourism
can do harm to the
environment
, many Aborigines sincerely invite the development of
tourism
, as it helps to increase their income level. What we can do is respect their choices and endeavour to protect the
environment
.
Submitted by hx88375757 on

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task achievement
Your essay successfully addresses the topic and provides a balanced discussion. However, you could strengthen your argument by adding more specific examples or data, and by further explaining some points.
coherence cohesion
While your essay has a logical structure with a clear introduction and conclusion, some transitions between ideas could be smoother to enhance readability. Consider using more varied linking words or phrases to guide the reader through your arguments.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion that frame your essay well.
task achievement
Your arguments are well-supported with relevant examples, such as the Jiuzhougou case and UN research on African communities.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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