IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Many believe that being good at a sport is result of talent while others think that it comes from hard work. Discuss both views and give your reasons.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some people argue that sporting skills are the outcome of
talent
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 others believe that being skilful at
sport
Use synonyms
 comes from hard
work
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both views and give my personal standpoint. On the one hand, many individuals think that having excellent abilities at sports is given by God, yet it will not produce tremendous results without coaching. Having a strong body with good stamina should be a prospective start to being an athlete, but the next steps are determined by hard
work
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, Jonatan Christie, an Indonesian badminton athlete, has tremendous stamina on the court. But, if He does not train intensively, He will not get a decent result.
In addition
Linking Words
, having a strong body as a
talent
Use synonyms
 might produce a fast smash, but the smash will not be accurate without any hard
work
Use synonyms
 on training.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
instead
Linking Words
 of relying more on
talent
Use synonyms
, working hard on coaching will produce a more magnificent impact.
Although
Linking Words
 there are some athletes with no wonderful stamina, they have a marvellous combination of skill and
talent
Use synonyms
as a result
Linking Words
 of training.
For example
Linking Words
, Gregoria Mariska Tunjung known as a low-stamina athlete in the
last
Linking Words
 few years. Meanwhile, after years of training, She eventually got a bronze medal at the Paris 2024 Olympic Games
as a result
Linking Words
 of her hard
work
Use synonyms
. To summarize, people do not necessarily have to have the
talent
Use synonyms
 to become skilful at a
sport
Use synonyms
, but they need hard
work
Use synonyms
 to comprehend their abilities.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the idea of being good at a
sport
Use synonyms
 is only because
talent
Use synonyms
 cannot be supported. After a thorough analysis of
this
Linking Words
 subject, I firmly believe that being skilful at a
sport
Use synonyms
 comes from hard
work
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
In your essay, you've provided a clear discussion of both views and offered a personal standpoint, which is excellent. However, some sentences could be more concise to enhance clarity. Try to avoid repetitive content, as seen in the mention of Jonatan Christie's example, which reiterates the need for hard work without introducing new ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your essay follows a logical structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. To improve, you could make the transitions between ideas smoother. For example, using more cohesive devices like 'however,' 'on the contrary,' or 'as a result,' could enhance the flow.
task achievement
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the key points of the essay and restates your own viewpoint clearly.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples for both perspectives, which strengthens your argument.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear logical progression of ideas throughout your essay, making it easy to follow.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present and clearly outline your discussion and viewpoint.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Innate abilities
  • Genetics
  • Exceptional skills
  • Training
  • Dedication
  • Discipline
  • Practice
  • Continuous improvement
  • Natural predisposition
  • Hone skills
  • Supportive environment
  • Coaching
  • Opportunities
  • Amplify attributes
  • Case studies
  • Evidence
  • Raw talent
  • Relentless hard work
  • Combination
  • Early signs
What to do next:
Look at other essays: