Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Children
are the backbone of every country. So, there are people
who tend to believe that youngsters should be encouraged to initiate social work as it will result in a flourished society and individualistic growth of youngsters themselves. I, too believe that this
motivation has more benefits than its drawbacks.
To begin
with, social work by children
can be easily associated with personality development because, during this
drive, they tend to communicate with a variety of people
, which leads to polished verbal skills. For example
, if they start convincing rural people
to send their children
to school they have to have a convincing attitude along with
developed verbal skills to deal with diverse kinds of people
there. This
improved skill will help them lifelong in every arena. Apart from
this
, the true values of life like tolerance, patience, team spirit, and cooperation can be learned. Besides
that, young minds serve the country with full enthusiasm giving the feeling of fulfillment and self-satisfaction. This
worthiness for themselves brims them with self-confidence and patriotic feeling. Moreover
, going and experiencing multiple cultures and traditions makes their horizon so broad that add one more feather to their cap.
However
, It is truly said, no rose without thrones. Can the drawbacks of this
initiation be ignored? Children
go to school, participate in different curriculum activities, and endure the pressure of peers, parents, and teachers, and in the competitive world, they should not be expected to serve society without their self-benefits. This
kind of pressure might bring resentment in their mind.
In conclusion, I believe, the notion of a teenager doing unpaid work is indeed good but proper monitoring and care should be given to avoid untoward consequencesSubmitted by u.umayal92 on
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task achievement
Consider refining your thesis statement to make it more precise. For example, 'I believe that encouraging teenagers to engage in unpaid community work benefits both the community and their personal development, despite some challenges.'
task achievement
In the second body paragraph, provide more depth on the drawbacks you mention. Discussing potential solutions or ways to mitigate these drawbacks can make the argument more balanced.
coherence cohesion
Enhance your conclusion by summarizing the main points discussed in the essay before restating your opinion. This reinforces the coherence and strength of your argument.
coherence cohesion
When presenting advantages and disadvantages, balance the structure by giving equal weight to each side. This ensures that your essay covers all aspects of the topic comprehensively.
task achievement
You provide clear and relevant examples to support your arguments. For instance, discussing how teenagers convincing rural people to send their children to school helps illustrate your point effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure, with distinct paragraphs for each main point. This makes it easy to follow your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, providing a clear starting point and wrapping up your argument effectively.