Some people bellive that young people should choose the jobs that they want. But other people think they should be more realistic and think more about their future

#people #bellive #jobs #future

Some

people

think teenagers should select the

future

jobs

which they want. But others believe being realistic, should be more useful for their

future

. On the one hand,

people

should choose good staff for their

future

and

also

their interest related to their

jobs

For example

: when

people

do not want to do kind of

things

they can not do

this

thing very well.

That is

a way

choosing

Change preposition

of choosing

show examples

jobs

that they want. It is useful and it is not boring for them. Because they can do all the

things

that they want and their mood will be perfect during the work. It is one of the important

things

at work.

Thus

, selecting a job which was we want important to us.

On the other hand

, being more realistic

also

should be well for us.

For instance

: our interests were changeable but life is real. Our thoughts and other

things

will change but we have to be realistic for our

future

life. Maybe we can not find work which is related to our interests or in our nation we do not need the kind of

jobs

that we want.

Thus

, being realistic always good for us and it is

also

useful for

people

. In conclusion,

people

have to be realistic because life's rules do not change but our ideas and interests are changing.

Thus

, in my opinion, being realistic more efficient than what we want. And it is

also

more useful for our nation. And being realistic can give

Correct pronoun usage

us more

show examples

opportunities for us.

Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on Mon Sep 23 2024

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task achievement

Make sure to support your main points with more specific examples and evidence. Providing relevant examples will strengthen your arguments.

coherence cohesion

While your essay has a clear structure, try to improve the logical flow between paragraphs. Using transitional phrases will help to create smoother connections and make your argument easier to follow.

coherence cohesion

You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in guiding the reader through your essay.

task achievement

Your essay addresses both sides of the argument, which is important for a complete response to the task.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

253 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people bellive that young people should choose the jobs that they want. But other people think they should be more realistic and think more about their future

Your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that large, impressive buildings are important for a city. Others believe that the money should be spent on improving schools and hospitals.

There is too much noise in many public places in cities. What are the causes of this problem? What can be done to solve the problem?

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives.

Some people sat that it is a good idea to socialise with work colleagues during evenings and/or weekends. Other people think it is important to keep working life completely separate from social life. Discuss both the views and give your own opinion.

Many people feel it is a waste of money to try to save endangered animal species, for example the tiger or the blue whale. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?