Many people believe that music is just a form of entertainment, while others believe that music has a much larger impact on society today. Discuss both views.
There is ongoing debate about the role of
music
in society. Some Use synonyms
people
claim that Use synonyms
music
is a simple way of amusement, Use synonyms
while
other Linking Words
individuals
think that nowadays, Use synonyms
music
has a great influence on the general public. I support the latter point of view as Use synonyms
music
Use synonyms
serve
as a catalyst that can change important global issues.
On the one hand, Change the verb form
serves
according to
some, Linking Words
music
is just a superficial thing that Use synonyms
people
often use for enjoyment and relaxation purposes. Use synonyms
This
is because popular songs and dance tracks are always played at social gatherings Linking Words
such
as Linking Words
bithday
parties, weddings or concerts to create a lively atmosphere and enhance the experience for guests Correct your spelling
birthday
thus
allowing them to unwind their Linking Words
mind
.
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
For example
, in Linking Words
kazakhstan
, the majority of Change the capitalization
Kazakhstan
individuals
used to enjoy listening to light and joyless songs which help to improve their mood and to transform a monotonous life into Use synonyms
pleasurable
background. Correct article usage
a pleasurable
Therefore
, some Linking Words
people
's perspective sees Use synonyms
the
Correct article usage
apply
music
as an Use synonyms
inserious
element which just adds value to events and assists humans Correct your spelling
unserious
in serious
serious
to relax
.
Change preposition
in relaxing
On the other hand
, I back up those Linking Words
people
's opinion who claim that today Use synonyms
music
Use synonyms
play
a huge role in society since it has a great power to Change the verb form
plays
insentive
Correct your spelling
incentive
incentivize
individuals
in order to Use synonyms
they
start waking up to Correct pronoun usage
apply
seriousness
of Add an article
the seriousness
world
problems and begin trying their best to change it for better. What drives human beings to raise their Use synonyms
awarness
of important issues is a meaningful message in the text of Correct your spelling
awareness
music
. To illustrate, John Lennon's Use synonyms
iconis
track "Imagine" became an anthem for peace and unity, Correct your spelling
iconic
inspirng
listeners around the Correct your spelling
inspiring
world
to respond Use synonyms
on
the need for harmony and the possibility of Change preposition
to
Use synonyms
world
without conflict. Add an article
a world
This
demonstrates Linking Words
music
's unique ability to convey messages that resonate deeply with Use synonyms
people
and influence their perspectives.
In conclusion, Use synonyms
although
thought that Linking Words
music
is a superficial tool for public amusement, Use synonyms
Linking Words
however
if we see it as a serious influencer of Add the comma(s)
however,
Correct article usage
the human's
human's
mind that can shift our Change noun form
human
world
from war to a more tranquil place , definitely Use synonyms
individuals
will Use synonyms
able
to alter their mindset for the better society through decent songs.Add a missing verb
be able
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and logically flows from one point to the next. Consider breaking down complex ideas into simpler, more digestible points to aid clarity and cohesion.
task achievement
Expand on your examples and explanations to cover every aspect of the question more thoroughly. This will strengthen your argument and enhance the persuasiveness of your response.
task achievement
The essay effectively addresses both views and supports the argument that music has a significant impact on society, fulfilling the main task requirement.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present, providing a structured start and end to the essay, which helps guide the reader through your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.