People buy a product if it fulfills their needs, there is no need for advertisement. To what extent do you agree or disagree with it?

There is a view that the relative importance of advertisement for fulfilling our needs in our life.
Although
some people say that advertising
products
indicate their poor quality, I totally disagree with
this
notion because the advert has many positive aspects
such
as providing necessary
products
and promoting the financial levels of business companies.
To begin
with, one of the beneficial ways to find needed things is by reading announcements in newspapers
as well as
watching TV advertisements. It is common that
this
method is that adverts provide people with quality goods including, drugs for avoiding health issues, devices for support to enhance life productivity, and foods for positively impacting a diet and a balanced lifestyle.
As a result
of
this
, individuals can purchase quality and necessary
products
which they want.
Secondly
, advertising can play a fundamental role in improving business companies in a world economy. It is not secret that the number of advertisements can catch the community's eye to
products
which leads to increased financial productivity among rival companies. When it comes to the iPhone is developing day by day to win competition with other competitors, by advertising modern models of the iPhone.
As a result
of announcements of the new model,
this
agency is able to increase its audience. In conclusion,
while
some people think that adverts are not important in our life for obtaining necessities, I fully disagree with
this
viewpoint because of their opportunities which can make a convenient for getting useful information about
products
.
Submitted by yoqubjonovjamshidbek23 on

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coherence cohesion
Try to enhance the logical flow between your paragraphs by using linking words or phrases consistently. For instance, use words like 'Furthermore,' 'Moreover,' or 'On the other hand' to demonstrate the relationship between ideas or arguments.
coherence cohesion
Work on organizing ideas more logically within paragraphs. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea, supported with specific examples or explanations, and concluding with a sentence summarizing the idea or linking to the next paragraph.
task achievement
Develop your ideas further with more specific examples or details to strengthen your argument. For example, what specific role do advertisements play in consumer decision-making, beyond enhancing visibility?
coherence cohesion
You provide a strong introduction and conclusion, clearly stating your position and summarizing your main points.
task achievement
The essay is generally well-organized with relevant examples, like mentioning the role of iPhone advertising, to support your arguments.
task achievement
Good job on covering both aspects of how advertisements can meet consumer needs and promote business growth.

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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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    • Sentence 1 - Summary
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • awareness
  • functionality
  • existence
  • potential customers
  • demand
  • features
  • benefits
  • purchase decisions
  • perceived value
  • necessity
  • brand image
  • product perception
  • differentiate
  • crowded market
  • persuade
  • emotional responses
  • connection
  • multiple options
  • word-of-mouth
  • social media influence
  • marketing campaigns
  • positive word-of-mouth
  • inform
  • drive purchase decisions
  • superior
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