IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did the training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Some argue that legislation should oblige professionals to work within the
country
Use synonyms
 in which they received their training,
while
Linking Words
 others assert that they should not be limited.
Although
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 I acknowledge the concerns of the former group, I gravitate toward the latter statement. Working in a
country
Use synonyms
 where
one
Use synonyms
 is educated can be beneficial for both
individuals
Use synonyms
 and the society at large. First and foremost, a significant portion of
individuals
Use synonyms
' studies are funded by taxpayers, thereby citizens have the right to benefit from doctors' and engineers' services. By limiting expertise choices for the workplace, governments can ensure that people within the society profit from good services and are willing to contribute to the taxation programme.
Moreover
Linking Words
, university curricula differ from
one
Use synonyms
country
Use synonyms
 to the other, as they have been planned based on indigenous needs.
For instance
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, pharmacists in China have to learn tai chi and acupuncture methods, practises that are neither taught nor used in other parts of the world. These studies necessitate professional settings to only hire
individuals
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 who have graduated from local universities.
However
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, these statements can be observed from another perspective. Confining expertise within the borders of a
country
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 is inhumane. The notion that suggests we should limit expertise choices is against democratic law. All people pay taxes, and yet no
one
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 can demand
one
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 change their residential status based on
taxpayers
Change noun form
taxpayers'
taxpayer's
show examples
 interest.
Therefore
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, the disparity between professionals' choices and other groups not only disproves human rights but
also
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 dissuades
individuals
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 from obtaining higher degrees.
Additionally
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, in developed countries, almost half of universities' seats are allocated to immigrants who wish to obtain their degrees and go back to serve their own
country
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. Requiring these people to stay can bring about
further
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 problems.
Firstly
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, if
one
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 forces others to work against their will, they will not be able to provide optimal guidance or make the finest product.
Secondly
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, providing housing and other required amenities for these graduates is demanding and can place an undue burden on the
governments'
Correct your spelling
government's
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 shoulders. In conclusion, hiring graduates from local universities,
although
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 beneficial if
become
Wrong verb form
becomes
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 an obligation, can cause
irreparabale
Correct your spelling
irreparable
 ramifications.

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coherence cohesion
It's important to ensure that each paragraph focuses on a central idea, which will enhance its coherence. Try to make sure your paragraphs are fully unified around one point before moving on to the next.
coherence cohesion
Expand your use of linking words. Although the essay is well-structured, increasing the variety and frequency of linking words can improve flow and connectivity between ideas.
task achievement
Ensure that your arguments are consistently clear and specific, and enhance them by providing precise details and examples where possible.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction effectively introduces the topic and presents a clear position without delay, making it easily accessible to the reader.
complete response
The essay provides a two-sided discussion, which effectively addresses the task requirement of discussing both views.
relevant specific examples
Your writing includes relevant examples, such as the one about pharmacists in China, which helps to illustrate the potential problems of the argument and grounds your points in reality.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionals
  • doctors
  • engineers
  • required
  • training
  • home country
  • cultural
  • linguistic
  • advantages
  • economic impact
  • free
  • another country
  • globalization
  • international collaboration
  • improving
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • experience
  • opinion
What to do next:
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