Some people believe that the government should spend money for teenagers educations while others think that money should be sponsored for teenagers’ sport

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The allocation of

government

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funds is a subject of debate, especially when it comes to

teenagers

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While

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some argue that financial resources should be directed toward

education

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, others believe that supporting

sports

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is equally important. In my opinion,

although

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both

education

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and

sports

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are essential for a teenager's

development

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, investing in

education

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should be the priority, as it directly contributes to a person’s future success and national progress. First of all,

education

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is the foundation for personal and professional

development

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. Knowledge and

skills

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gained in schools and universities open doors to better job opportunities, ultimately improving the quality of life.

For instance

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, in many countries, highly educated individuals tend to earn more and are more likely to find stable employment.

Moreover

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, an educated population is essential for a nation's

development

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, fostering innovation and driving economic growth.

Therefore

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government

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spending on

education

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can ensure that

teenagers

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are well-prepared for the future.

On the other hand

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sports

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also

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play an important role in

teenagers

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' lives. Physical activities help improve health, foster teamwork, and teach discipline. Many people believe that

sports

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help keep

teenagers

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away from unhealthy habits like drug use and promote a sense of community.

Additionally

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, some individuals may even pursue a career in

sports

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, making it a potential pathway to success.

However

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while

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sports

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are beneficial, they do not offer the same long-term impact as

education

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does for the majority of

teenagers

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Although

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sports

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contribute to the

overall

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well-being of

teenagers

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education

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should take priority when it comes to

government

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spending. The

skills

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and knowledge

teenagers

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gain from

education

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can be applied to a wide range of fields, not only benefiting them individually but

also

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contributing to society as a whole.

Moreover

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education

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can address broader social issues

such

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as poverty and unemployment, which

sports

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alone cannot solve.

Thus

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while

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sports

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are important, they should not overshadow the necessity of investing in

education

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. In conclusion, both

education

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and

sports

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are vital for the

development

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teenagers

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However

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, the

government

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should focus more on

education

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, as it provides

teenagers

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with the necessary

skills

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and opportunities to succeed in life and contribute to society.

Sports

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can be supported as a secondary investment to enhance physical health and social

skills

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, but

education

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should remain the top priority.

makemoneyizzy16Sat Oct 12 2024

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task achievement

To enhance task achievement, consider including more specific examples to illustrate how government investment in education positively impacts both personal and societal progress.

coherence and cohesion

Increase coherence and cohesion by ensuring each paragraph flows seamlessly into the next, possibly by using linking phrases or referencing earlier points.

introduction and conclusion

The essay contains a clear and structured introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the argument.

coherence and cohesion

The main points are well supported with logical arguments that are easy to follow.

task achievement

The essay successfully covers both perspectives—education and sports—demonstrating a thorough understanding of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

374 words

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Some people believe that the government should spend money for teenagers educations while others think that money should be sponsored for teenagers’ sport

Your opinion

In the modern world, many employees lack soft skill such as communication and working in the teams. What are the main causes of this problem? What are the effects of the lack of such skills ?

In modern society, it is possible to go shopping, work, and accommodate via the Internet without face-to-face contact with one another. To what extent do you think this is a positive or negative development.

Some people believe that all wild animals should be protected. Others say that few wild animals should be protected instead. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.