Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

In the contemporary era, many minors put the

mjority

Correct your spelling

majority

of their time on their handsets. In my opinion, owing to existing entertainment applications that are amusing on mobile phones,

this

Linking Words

trend occurs.

In addition

Linking Words

, I hold

this

Linking Words

view that it is a negative trend that can cause serious problems in juveniles' lives. On the one hand, nowadays, engineers come up with numerous applications that have several attractions for

children

Use synonyms

;

thus

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

spend most of their time on them.

Moreover

Linking Words

, these software give juveniles some bonuses that deceive

children

Use synonyms

into carrying on their activities.

For instance

Linking Words

, approximately 8 years ago, the bulk of

children

Use synonyms

played with Clash of Clans for over 4 hours per day.

Further

Linking Words

and even more importantly,

this

Linking Words

issue is a negative modification that has several drawbacks and leads to detrimental effects on

children

Use synonyms

's education. As the most significant effect, if

children

Use synonyms

spend long hours

Change preposition

apply

show examples

dealing with smartphones, they do not have adequate time to carry out their assignments or study their books.

Hence

Linking Words

, they are not able to progress in their education or even nail down their subjects.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, recent studies have shown several hours of expenditure on electronic devices has a negative influence on their concentration.

For example

Linking Words

, it can be seen that the average grade of students who study in high schools dramatically decreased in Iran, so it can be concluded that

this

Linking Words

issue is not useful. In conclusion,

this

Linking Words

issue occurs because sophisticated engineers have the capability to amuse these age profiles that are under 18 years old easily.

In addition

Linking Words

, it is not helpful for them and can cause several educational problems for minors.

Submitted by speher2000behroozifar on Sat Oct 12 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

To further enhance the coherence, make sure each paragraph has a clear link back to the question, maintaining a strong connection throughout the essay.

task achievement

Add more specific examples or evidence to support your points, which will strengthen your arguments and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the response.

task achievement

Your ideas are presented clearly and logically, which helps in understanding your perspective.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

272 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Several people assert that the main cause of crime is an economically disadvantaged background. However, others say that crime is caused by a person’s nature. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
There have been growing concerns about ever-increasing crimes all over the world, the main reason is economically disadvantaged background. I understand this viewpoint because it is hard to maintain a basic standard of living, thereby the financial problems. However, at the same time, I believe people might be able to commit crimes because of their impulsive personalities.
5.5
band
During a recent plane journey, you sat next to a businessman who owns a chain of restaurants. You talked to him and he suggested that you should contact him about a possible job in one of his restaurants. Write a letter to this businessman. In your letter remind him when and where you met tell him what kind of job you are interested in say why you think you would be suitable for the job
We had the pleasure of sitting next to each other during a flight from Ottawa to Los Angeles on the 14 th of August.I enjoyed our conversation and also you suggested I contact you about job opportunities.
6.5
band
Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
It is believed by some people that it is productive for adolescents to embark on learning a nonnative language at primary school as compared to secondary school. This has its own rewards as well as detriments. Both pros and cons are elaborated in the ensuing paragraphs.
5.5
band
Tourism has increased so much over the last 50 years that it is having a mainly negative impact on local inhabitants and the environment. However, others claim that it is good for the economy. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of tourism and give your own opinion?
With the ever-rising tourism all over the world, it has been widely-observed that there is both positives and negative outcomes that are generated from holiday makers. In my opinion, it certainly has a positive impact on the nation as a whole.
4.5
band
Some people, therefore, think that governments should pay university fees for students who study subjects that are needed by society. Those who choose to study less relevant subjects should not receive government funding. Would the advantages of such an educational policy outweigh the disadvantages?
In our modern world, people’s educational background is considered one of the greatest priorities to many administrations. Some may say that some more important study must be supported more by state authorities; however, others, included myself agree that the drawbacks of this method outweigh the positive influences.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Fully explain your ideas

Several people assert that the main cause of crime is an economically disadvantaged background. However, others say that crime is caused by a person’s nature. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Tourism has increased so much over the last 50 years that it is having a mainly negative impact on local inhabitants and the environment. However, others claim that it is good for the economy. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of tourism and give your own opinion?