IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Machines are taking over more and more jobs previously done by humans. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages and give your opinion

#machines #jobs #humans
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
With the advent of technology,
machines
Use synonyms
 are replacing physical labour.
While
Linking Words
 the advancements in technology ensure efficiency and enhancement in productivity, the displacement of human workers
as a result
Linking Words
 of
automation
Use synonyms
 is a huge challenge. I believe it is important for the government to introduce policies that support people affected by
this
Linking Words
 evolution.
Firstly
Linking Words
, one of the pros of
machines
Use synonyms
 substituting the human workforce is the increase in productivity and efficiency. They speed up the rate at which tasks are completed quickly and more accurately than human labour can achieve.
For instance
Linking Words
, in manufacturing factories,
machines
Use synonyms
 can operate 24 hours non-stop, thereby accelerating production.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
machines
Use synonyms
 can
also
Linking Words
 perform dangerous tasks, thereby safeguarding human workers from hazards.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the drawbacks of the use of these technologies include the displacement of physical human workers
due to
Linking Words
 the use of
automation
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, as
automation
Use synonyms
 becomes more prevalent, many people may lose their jobs, thereby increasing the rate of unemployment.
For example
Linking Words
, retail cashier positions are no longer popular, and many companies now adopt self-checkout systems, causing redundancy for persons working in
such
Linking Words
 positions.
Additionally
Linking Words
, over-reliance on
machines
Use synonyms
 can lead to technical failures or security risks, which can cause economic losses. In my opinion,
while
Linking Words
automation
Use synonyms
 has its Strengths, it is crucial for authorities to implement policies that support employees affected by these changes.
In addition
Linking Words
, a balanced approach should be encouraged. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
machines
Use synonyms
 bring about efficiencies and productivity, they
also
Linking Words
 cause socio-economic challenges.
Therefore
Linking Words
, an equal approach that would create a balance should be encouraged.
Submitted by m.bunmifausat on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly focuses on a single idea or theme to enhance coherence.
task achievement
Try to elaborate slightly more on your examples to clearly connect them to your main points.
coherence cohesion
The essay effectively introduces the topic and provides a concluding opinion, giving a sense of completeness.
task achievement
The essay covers both the advantages and disadvantages of machines replacing human jobs, providing a balanced view.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: