The use of social media such as Facebook or Twitter is replacing face-to-face contact this century. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
Online chat
platforms
have raised so much this
day and have become more sophisticated by people
who use
tools for chatting or communicating with others. However
, the platforms
have good and bad values for people
so they must use
them wisely. I believe that there are more advantages than disadvantages for people
who are using social media
.
There are positive points that social media
gives to humans so well. Firstly
, Social media
platforms
will increase the relationship aspect of their lives due to
effectiveness and effortlessness. For example
, People
will get to know the information about their family easily and freely because it does not affect the cost and distance. Moreover
, they need to click the button from their smartphone or computer to send something. Then
, the public is not only chatting on social media
but also
video calling with someone. This
feature becomes the most
favourite because no matter how long the distance, they feel close together. Correct quantifier usage
apply
Besides
, these tools benefit people
who want to learn about something new such
as politics, technology, health, and so on. For instance
, Twitter and Facebook provide a forum for people
to discuss about
issues that must be highlighted.
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apply
On the other hand
, social media
has several negative values and people
must be aware of this
issue, especially for youngsters that use
those platforms
a lot. They have to filter with whom they communicate. For example
, there are a number of online chatting tools that provide free chat or video with strangers. It includes sex, porn, or maybe criminal that can affect adolescents live. Next,
privacy is becoming the number one aspect that must be known by people
. In addition
, the public has to restrict some data or people
that can be seen on social media
. To illustrate, Twitter is public-based social media
and everyone can see our posts so we have to lock the account for the public.
In conclusion, I think that social media
platforms
give a lot of advantages for people
to use
them. However
, people
must be strict about the information and strangers who can see our posts on social media
.Submitted by irhamtaufiqurrahman on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph contains one clear main idea and is logically developed with supporting details and examples.
task achievement
Consider using more varied vocabulary and complex sentence structures to enhance the clarity and sophistication of your ideas.
task achievement
Some of the examples provided can be more specific and directly tied to the essay topic. This will strengthen your task response and make your essay more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, providing a clear standpoint and summary of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Main points are supported with relevant examples, which enhances the essay's coherence.
task achievement
The essay addresses both advantages and disadvantages of social media, showing a balanced view of the topic.