The use of social media such as Facebook or Twitter is replacing face-to-face contact this century. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Online chat
platforms
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have raised so much
this
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day and have become more sophisticated by
people
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who
use
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tools for chatting or communicating with others.
However
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, the
platforms
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have good and bad values for
people
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so they must
use
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them wisely. I believe that there are more advantages than disadvantages for
people
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who are using social
media
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. There are positive points that social
media
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gives to humans so well.
Firstly
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, Social
media
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platforms
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will increase the relationship aspect of their lives
due to
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effectiveness and effortlessness.
For example
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,
People
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will get to know the information about their family easily and freely because it does not affect the cost and distance.
Moreover
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, they need to click the button from their smartphone or computer to send something.
Then
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, the public is not only chatting on social
media
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but
also
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video calling with someone.
This
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feature becomes the
most
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favourite because no matter how long the distance, they feel close together.
Besides
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, these tools benefit
people
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who want to learn about something new
such
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as politics, technology, health, and so on.
For instance
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, Twitter and Facebook provide a forum for
people
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to discuss
about
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issues that must be highlighted.
On the other hand
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, social
media
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has several negative values and
people
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must be aware of
this
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issue, especially for youngsters that
use
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those
platforms
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a lot. They have to filter with whom they communicate.
For example
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, there are a number of online chatting tools that provide free chat or video with strangers. It includes sex, porn, or maybe criminal that can affect adolescents live.
Next,
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privacy is becoming the number one aspect that must be known by
people
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.
In addition
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, the public has to restrict some data or
people
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that can be seen on social
media
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. To illustrate, Twitter is public-based social
media
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and everyone can see our posts so we have to lock the account for the public. In conclusion, I think that social
media
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platforms
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give a lot of advantages for
people
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to
use
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them.
However
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,
people
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must be strict about the information and strangers who can see our posts on social
media
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.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph contains one clear main idea and is logically developed with supporting details and examples.
task achievement
Consider using more varied vocabulary and complex sentence structures to enhance the clarity and sophistication of your ideas.
task achievement
Some of the examples provided can be more specific and directly tied to the essay topic. This will strengthen your task response and make your essay more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, providing a clear standpoint and summary of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Main points are supported with relevant examples, which enhances the essay's coherence.
task achievement
The essay addresses both advantages and disadvantages of social media, showing a balanced view of the topic.
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