IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people suggest that a country should try to produce all the food for its population and import as little food as possible. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#people #country #food #population #import
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Manufacturing own products,
such
 as fruits and vegetables for local residents will be better than importing from other countries. I partially agree with
this
 opinion
due to
, difficulties
to grow
Change preposition
in growing
show examples
 specific products for some countries,
by
Change preposition
due to
show examples
 environmental issues. To commence with the favourable aspects of generating four-course meals in a residential nation. The agriculture sector has been always a great source of income for many individuals,and the production of crops will not only benefit commoners but
also
 the government because a hefty amount of wealth could be saved
that is
 spent on importing edible products.
Additionally
, the generation of
food
 will provide job opportunities for job seekers and will reduce the unemployment rate of a particular nation.
However
, there are various
unfavorable
Change the spelling
unfavourable
show examples
 aspects of
this
 action which are important to be mentioned. Lack of favourable climate conditions to produce
food
 that has balanced nutrition because every country has distinct climate conditions ,and all nations cannot meet the demand for
food
 owing to unsuitable weather conditions.
For instance
, in Greenland, the populace survives on imported edibles because
food
 cannot be grown in that country
due to
 the
extreme
Change the adjective
extremely
show examples
 cold climate.
Moreover
, a balanced diet consists of distinct cuisines and
that is
 only possible if
food
 from various parts of the world
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
 be collected to make a meal
therefore
, the reduction of
food
 import would affect the diet of commoners and it is not a positive development for a nation. To recapitulate, undoubtedly
food
 trade is very expensive but, for the sake of residents authorities should never consider it as a second option, and the aforementioned notion clarifies that a nutritious diet consists of edibles grown in distinct soils
therefore
, to fulfil the demand of residents government should not stop the process of
food
 trade.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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structure
Try to provide a clearer introduction that outlines the main points you will discuss in the essay. This will help the reader know what to expect and follow your argument more easily.
structure
Ensure that the conclusion directly responds to the essay prompt and summarizes the main arguments presented. This ties your discussion back to the question and gives your essay a strong finish.
cohesion
Improve the use of transitions between paragraphs to enhance the flow of ideas. This can contribute to better overall coherence and cohesion in your essay.
examples
Include more specific examples to illustrate your points, especially when discussing economic or environmental factors. This can strengthen the task achievement by making your arguments more compelling.
balance
You effectively discuss both sides of the argument, acknowledging both the benefits of domestic food production and the challenges associated with it.
understanding
Your essay includes relevant points about economic and employment impacts of local food production as well as climatic limitations, showing a good understanding of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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