IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

"Old people are an essential part of society, so they should be respected.” How much do you agree with this opinion and why? Give reasons and examples to support your answer

#people #part #society #support
With the advance of
health
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the health
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 care system, life expectancy has increased and we see more elderly
people
 now than
previous
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in previous
show examples
 years. In my opinion, I agree that
this
 age group is an essential aspect of our society and should be given our utmost respect, and here are my reasons.
Firstly
, showing our respect to elderly
people
 is a sign of a good manner and gratitude. Our ancestors have come a long way to provide the comfortable life that we are currently living. We have been taught to learn history from school and to understand our roots.
For instance
, we learned how hard they have fought during wars for freedom and against colonization.
Therefore
, I believe they deserve our respect for their hard work and bravery.
Secondly
, old
people
impose
Verb problem
have
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 a lot of wisdom. Wisdom is an art that comes with experience and
long-life
Correct your spelling
long life
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 lessons. Old
people
 have lived and gone through so many ups and downs in their lives and
this
 cannot be bought.
For example
, when life gets hard and difficult, most of
this
 cannot be solved by reading a book and one tends to seek
for
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apply
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comfort and
solution
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solutions
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 from a more aged person who might have gone through those
experience
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experiences
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.
Hence
, older
people
 have more wisdom and should be respected. In summary, being respectful and kind are now the qualities that are slowly
disappering
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disappearing
. Respecting one another
especially
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, especially
show examples
 our elderly
people
, should be an essential manner that comes naturally as
this
 generation can teach us many things. What more, without them, we are nothing in
this
 world.
Submitted by Nezzy on

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relevant specific examples
Try to elaborate a bit more on your examples for stronger justification. Providing specific examples from history or personal experiences could help in making your argument more robust.
complete response
While your response is complete and clear, delve a little deeper into the cultural variations in respecting elderly people across societies, as it could enrich your discussion and demonstrate complexity of thought.
supported main points
The essay presents a clear argument with well-supported main points, illustrating a strong understanding of the subject.
introduction conclusion present
The essay includes a structured introduction and conclusion, efficiently framing your argument and summarizing key points.
logical structure
You have logically structured your essay, with each paragraph transitioning naturally to the next, contributing to a cohesive argument.

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