IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

It is suggested that some countries give money to poorer countries rather than financial aid.

#countries #money #aid
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It is argued by some people that rich
countries
Use synonyms
 are to give other types of help to the poor
countries
Use synonyms
 rather than financial aid because it is not enough
give
Add the particle
to give
show examples
money
Use synonyms
 to poorer
countries
Use synonyms
 as it does not solve poverty. I partly agree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion and I will state the reasons for my view. To start,
that is
Linking Words
 enough to give
money
Use synonyms
 as
money
Use synonyms
 can solve financial
problems
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
 if
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
one
country
Use synonyms
 have some
problems
Use synonyms
 with financial aid. The poor
country
Use synonyms
 can tackle
problems
Use synonyms
 with
money
Use synonyms
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
given by
rich
Add an article
the rich
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country
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
, in
poor
Add an article
a poor
show examples
country
Use synonyms
 can
decreases
Wrong verb form
decrease
show examples
problems
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, if developed
countries
Use synonyms
 do not give
this
Linking Words
country
Use synonyms
 financial aid
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
poor
Use synonyms
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
 will
be
Verb problem
have
show examples
 more financial
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, if developed
nations
Use synonyms
 give other types of help to the poor
countries
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 it can help reduce other
problems
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, if one of the rich
nations
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help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 with food to the nation which is poor it helps. decrease the lack of food.
As a result
Linking Words
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
country
Use synonyms
 can reduce poor families. But if
nations
Use synonyms
 do not help with food in poor
nations
Use synonyms
 the number of poor families will stay stable or can increase. Another benefit is that if developed
countries
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 help with
voluntures
Correct your spelling
volunteers
this
Linking Words
 poor nation will develop.
For instance
Linking Words
, developed
countries
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 from developed
countries
Use synonyms
 visit
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
poor
nations
Use synonyms
 and help with education
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 poor
countries
Use synonyms
 to poor families children. In the
future
Add a comma
future,
show examples
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 children will be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
buisnessmens
Correct your spelling
businesses
.
As a result
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
country
Use synonyms
 will develop. In conclusion, the rich
nations
Use synonyms
 should give
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
help with financial and
other type
Change the wording
another type
other types
show examples
 of help to the poor
nations
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by Writing9 on

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introduction improvement
Provide a more detailed outline in the introduction to clarify your stance and what you will discuss in the body paragraphs.
example improvement
Add more examples and direct evidence to substantiate your arguments and show varied perspectives.
language improvement
Work on expanding your vocabulary to avoid repetitive phrases and enhance argumentation.
structure positive
You have successfully structured your essay with separate paragraphs for each main point.
conclusion positive
The conclusion effectively summarizes your opinion and main arguments.
argument positive
You offer a balanced viewpoint, which makes your argument more nuanced and comprehensive.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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