It is suggested that some countries give money to poorer countries rather than financial aid.
It is argued by some people that rich
countries
are to give other types of help to the poor countries
rather than financial aid because it is not enough give
Add the particle
to give
money
to poorer countries
as it does not solve poverty. I partly agree with this
opinion and I will state the reasons for my view.
To start, that is
enough to give money
as money
can solve financial problems
. For example
if in
one Change preposition
apply
country
have some problems
with financial aid. The poor country
can tackle problems
with money
which
given by Correct pronoun usage
apply
rich
Add an article
the rich
country
. As a result
, in poor
Add an article
a poor
country
can decreases
Wrong verb form
decrease
problems
. However
, if developed countries
do not give this
country
financial aid in
poor Change preposition
apply
country
will Fix the agreement mistake
countries
be
more financial Verb problem
have
problem
.
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
On the other hand
, if developed nations
give other types of help to the poor countries
it can help reduce other problems
. For instance
, if one of the rich nations
help
with food to the nation which is poor it helps. decrease the lack of food. Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
As a result
in
Change preposition
apply
this
country
can reduce poor families. But if nations
do not help with food in poor nations
the number of poor families will stay stable or can increase. Another benefit is that if developed countries
help with voluntures
Correct your spelling
volunteers
this
poor nation will develop. For instance
, developed countries
from developed countries
visit to
poor Remove the preposition
apply
nations
and help with education to
poor Change preposition
in
countries
to poor families children. In the future
Add a comma
future,
this
children will be Correct determiner usage
these
a
Correct article usage
apply
buisnessmens
. Correct your spelling
businesses
As a result
, this
country
will develop.
In conclusion, the rich nations
should give a
help with financial and Remove the article
apply
other type
of help to the poor Change the wording
another type
other types
nations
.Submitted by Writing9 on
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introduction improvement
Provide a more detailed outline in the introduction to clarify your stance and what you will discuss in the body paragraphs.
example improvement
Add more examples and direct evidence to substantiate your arguments and show varied perspectives.
language improvement
Work on expanding your vocabulary to avoid repetitive phrases and enhance argumentation.
structure positive
You have successfully structured your essay with separate paragraphs for each main point.
conclusion positive
The conclusion effectively summarizes your opinion and main arguments.
argument positive
You offer a balanced viewpoint, which makes your argument more nuanced and comprehensive.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?