The government needs to spend money to encourage the development of sports and arts for school students, rather than to support professional sports and art events. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statem

#government #money #development #sports #arts #school #students #support #art #events #statem

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It's argued that the

goverment

Correct your spelling

government

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

to invest

money

develope

Correct your spelling

develop

sports

and

arts

for

children

, more than supporting professional

sports

and

arts

this

essay will totally agree with

this

statement. because spending

money

children

will promote many fantastic

potintioals

Correct your spelling

potentials

potential

diffrent

Correct your spelling

different

kind

Fix the agreement mistake

kinds

show examples

sports

and

arts

also

Add a comma

also,

show examples

there are not many

benifits

Correct your spelling

benefits

Change preposition

show examples

supporting professional

sports

and art. Kids

are always have

Change the verb form

always have

show examples

a huge potential in

thier favoriate

Correct your spelling

their favourite

hobbies but

unfortunalty

Correct your spelling

unfortunately

they can't express it by themselves.

However

, if the

goverment

Correct your spelling

government

is trying to help

children

to show

thier

Correct your spelling

their

talent

Change the noun form

talents

show examples

such

as building

acadimes

Correct your spelling

academies

, events and doing lots of activities

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

children

would

involve

Wrong verb form

be involved

show examples

Correct word choice

involved in

show examples

these types of

sports

and

arts

For example

, doing

tournments

Correct your spelling

tournaments

in every

naighberhood

Correct your spelling

neighbourhood

like what

happend

Correct your spelling

happened

in Riyadh in 2003 at that time the

goverments

Correct your spelling

government

governments

did a small league between the nighbors and

then

when the league

have

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

finished they saw too many

amaizing

Correct your spelling

amazing

kids with huge potential like Salem Aldosary and now he is the best Saudi football player in history. I am

completly

Correct your spelling

completely

against the idea of spending

money

for professionals to support them.

due to

, Most of them are famous so they can get what they need to exceed more in their career without the help from the

goverment

Correct your spelling

government

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Saud

abdulhamid

Correct your spelling

Abdul Hamid

Abdul-Hamid

a football player who got his offer from AS Rome without the

goverment's

Correct your spelling

government's

help because he is already a professional player and now he is becoming the best right back in the world. In conclusion, professional

sports

and

arts

should not be giving

money

devolpe

Correct your spelling

develop

the industry,

Insted

Correct your spelling

Instead

Correct article usage

The goverment

show examples

goverment

Correct your spelling

government

needs to focus on

encurageing

Correct your spelling

encouraging

school students to grow the

sports

and

arts

section.

Submitted by omaralshrf2 on Sat Dec 14 2024

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task response

Work on expanding your ideas and ensure they are clearly presented. Avoid ambiguous phrases like 'fantastic potentials' without elaborating on them.

coherence cohesion

To improve logical structure, work on connecting ideas logically within and between paragraphs.

coherence cohesion

You effectively introduce the topic and present your viewpoint clearly in the introduction and conclusion.

task response

You've included relevant examples, such as the tournament in Riyadh, which offers evidence to support your main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
35
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

277 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

allocate resources
educational programs
holistic development
foster creativity
equal opportunities
nurture young talents
grassroots programs
long-lasting impact
government funding
inclusive education

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Some people say that excessive noise should be a criminal offence, while others say they should be free to make noise without limitation. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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