revise---------Parents are putting a lot of pressure on their children to succeed. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#revise---------parents #pressure #children #development

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There is no denying that

parents

Use synonyms

undoubtedly want their

children

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to become successful individuals,

although

Linking Words

some tend to apply pressure and high demands along the way.

This

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essay will explore the causes of

this

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phenomenon and argue that

this

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approach is a negative development, as it can lead to stress, reduced self-esteem, and a lack of freedom in willpower.

Parents

Use synonyms

may have various reasons for imposing pressure on their

children

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's upbringing.

Firstly

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, they may want to ensure their

children

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avoid the hardships they experienced.

For instance

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, many

parents

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who struggled in their youth,

such

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as failing to achieve adequate academic qualifications, often ended up in low-paying jobs.

Consequently

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, they faced financial difficulties and were unable to pursue their dreams.

Secondly

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, parental prestige often drives ambition for their descendants to excel in certain fields. To exemplify, during family gatherings, they usually share stories of their child's achievements. In

such

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situations,

parents

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without accomplishments to showcase may feel ashamed, leading them to push their sons or daughters to surpass everyone in specific areas.

However

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this

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practice can negatively impact a youth's growth, particularly their mental health.

For example

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, if a child

pressured

Add a missing verb

is pressured

show examples

to excel in academics

while

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their interests lie in sports, they may feel overwhelmed and unable to cope with the demands.

This

Linking Words

pressure can cause them to work under duress, ultimately leading to stress.

Furthermore

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, they may lose confidence in their abilities and feel unsatisfied with their accomplishments, as they are constantly driven by their

parents

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' expectations rather than their own desires. In conclusion,

this

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issue arises because of

parents

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' past hardships and their desire to maintain social prestige, and most importantly,it significantly impacts

children

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's psychological well-being.

Submitted by nineband9s on Wed Jan 01 2025

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coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and supporting arguments to enhance logical structure.

task achievement

Develop a stronger connection between parental pressure and its negative impacts, possibly by expanding on examples.

coherence cohesion

The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion that encapsulate the main ideas effectively.

task achievement

There are relevant examples, such as family gatherings and academic pressures, which add depth to the arguments presented.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

277 words

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revise---------Parents are putting a lot of pressure on their children to succeed. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Your opinion

In some countries, it is illegal for companies to reject job applicants for their age. Is this a positive or negative development?

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People behave differently when they wear different clothes. Do you agree that different clothes influence the way people behave?

In many countries, teenagers are encouraged to do part-time jobs. What’s the situation like in your country? What do you think are the advantages and disadvantages of doing part-time jobs?

In the past, knowledge was contained in books. Nowadays, knowledge is uploaded to the internet. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

In many countries today, people in cities either live alone or in small family units, rather than in large, extended family groups. Is this a positive or negative trend?