These days people prefer to watch live performances (Shows, concerts) through tv or computer, online rather than go to the place of event. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays , live shows like concerts are watched on TV or computers by

people

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instead

Linking Words

of going to the place of the event. I agree with

this

Linking Words

statement that we can save more

time

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while

Linking Words

watching comfortable places

although

Linking Words

live

performances

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add more joy to our lives. Humans always try to create a cosy environment and save significant

time

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. Streaming services allow

people

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to experience events from any location, with no need to buy tickets and deal with crowded places. There is the advantage which is good for

people

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who are living far away from major cities .

For example

Linking Words

, the ability to watch a concert, play , or sporting event on a screen from places gives a chance to do extra work.

For

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

reason , most

people

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prefer to watch events on TV or on computers.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, live

performances

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give significant experiences that can not replaced by screens. The atmosphere of live events , and the sense of community with the presence of live

performances

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to contribute a memorable and emotionally charged experience . Most

people

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also

Linking Words

go there for social aspects , as they provide an opportunity to meet new

people

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, spend

time

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with friends and create lasting memories .

Therefore

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, there are a lot of positive sides to participating in live

performances

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. In conclusion , watching online shows or concerts through electronic devices could give more comfort and save

time

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however

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, when

people

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go to concerts and participate in life shows they could receive more joy and happiness .

makemoneyizzy16Tue Oct 22 2024

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task achievement

Try to provide more relevant and specific examples that strengthen your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Ensure logical connections between ideas and paragraphs for smoother transitions.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with a well-defined introduction and conclusion.

task achievement

Main points are supported and elaborated upon, effectively engaging the reader.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

263 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

live performance
streaming
mobility issues
busy schedules
substantially cheaper
broadens cultural horizons
customize their environment
electric atmosphere
social interaction
technical issues
immersive experience

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These days people prefer to watch live performances (Shows, concerts) through tv or computer, online rather than go to the place of event. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Creative artists should be given freedom to express their ideas through words, pictures, music or films. Some people nevertheless think that the government should restrict artist’ freedom of expression. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Children find it difficult to concentrate on or pay attention to school. What are the reasons? How can we solve this problem?

Research shows that global warming is caused by human activity. What are the possible effects of climate change and what can governments and individuals do to reduce these?

Some people says that it is a waste of public money to spend on cultural events, others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

As housing is a basic need for people, the government should provide free housing for everyone who cannot afford it. To what extent do you agree or disagree?