These days people prefer to watch live performances (Shows, concerts) through tv or computer, online rather than go to the place of event. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #performances #concerts #tv #computer #place #event

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Nowadays , live shows like concerts are watched on TV or computers by

people

instead

of going to the place of the event. I agree with

this

statement that we can save more

time

while

watching comfortable places

although

live

performances

add more joy to our lives. Humans always try to create a cosy environment and save significant

time

. Streaming services allow

people

to experience events from any location, with no need to buy tickets and deal with crowded places. There is the advantage which is good for

people

who are living far away from major cities .

For example

, the ability to watch a concert, play , or sporting event on a screen from places gives a chance to do extra work.

For

this

reason , most

people

prefer to watch events on TV or on computers.

On the other hand

, live

performances

give significant experiences that can not replaced by screens. The atmosphere of live events , and the sense of community with the presence of live

performances

to contribute a memorable and emotionally charged experience . Most

people

also

go there for social aspects , as they provide an opportunity to meet new

people

, spend

time

with friends and create lasting memories .

Therefore

, there are a lot of positive sides to participating in live

performances

. In conclusion , watching online shows or concerts through electronic devices could give more comfort and save

time

however

, when

people

go to concerts and participate in life shows they could receive more joy and happiness .

Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on Tue Oct 22 2024

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task achievement

Try to provide more relevant and specific examples that strengthen your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Ensure logical connections between ideas and paragraphs for smoother transitions.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with a well-defined introduction and conclusion.

task achievement

Main points are supported and elaborated upon, effectively engaging the reader.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

263 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

live performance
streaming
mobility issues
busy schedules
substantially cheaper
broadens cultural horizons
customize their environment
electric atmosphere
social interaction
technical issues
immersive experience

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These days people prefer to watch live performances (Shows, concerts) through tv or computer, online rather than go to the place of event. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Some parents give their children everything that their children ask for or allow them to do whatever they want to do. Is this good for children? What could be consequences for these children when they grow up?

Some people think that mobile phones are harmful for children ,while other disagree. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.