These days people prefer to watch live performances (Shows, concerts) through tv or computer, online rather than go to the place of event. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #performances #concerts #tv #computer #place #event

Nowadays , live shows like concerts are watched on TV or computers by

people

instead

of going to the place of the event. I agree with

this

statement that we can save more

time

while

watching comfortable places

although

live

performances

add more joy to our lives. Humans always try to create a cosy environment and save significant

time

. Streaming services allow

people

to experience events from any location, with no need to buy tickets and deal with crowded places. There is the advantage which is good for

people

who are living far away from major cities .

For example

, the ability to watch a concert, play , or sporting event on a screen from places gives a chance to do extra work.

For

this

reason , most

people

prefer to watch events on TV or on computers.

On the other hand

, live

performances

give significant experiences that can not replaced by screens. The atmosphere of live events , and the sense of community with the presence of live

performances

to contribute a memorable and emotionally charged experience . Most

people

also

go there for social aspects , as they provide an opportunity to meet new

people

, spend

time

with friends and create lasting memories .

Therefore

, there are a lot of positive sides to participating in live

performances

. In conclusion , watching online shows or concerts through electronic devices could give more comfort and save

time

however

, when

people

go to concerts and participate in life shows they could receive more joy and happiness .

Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on Tue Oct 22 2024

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task achievement

Try to provide more relevant and specific examples that strengthen your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Ensure logical connections between ideas and paragraphs for smoother transitions.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with a well-defined introduction and conclusion.

task achievement

Main points are supported and elaborated upon, effectively engaging the reader.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

263 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

live performance
streaming
mobility issues
busy schedules
substantially cheaper
broadens cultural horizons
customize their environment
electric atmosphere
social interaction
technical issues
immersive experience

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These days people prefer to watch live performances (Shows, concerts) through tv or computer, online rather than go to the place of event. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Now a days, many people have to work longer hours, and they feel more stressed out than before. What are the reasons? What can employers do to make their employees' lives easier?

In many countries crime rates among teenagers are higher than among other groups.What are the causes for this problem and what can be done to solve this?

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people Why might this be the cause? Do you think this is a positive or a negative situation?

In some countries, owing a home rather than renting is very important. *why might this be the case *Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

In some countries, owing a home rather than renting is very important. why might this be the case Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?