IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

.” Prevention is better than cure”. Researching and treating diseases is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventive measures. To what extent do you agree.

#prevention #cure” #diseases #measures
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Nowaday
Correct your spelling
Nowadays
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, some people think that the government are spending too much money on researching and curing
diseases
Use synonyms
. They say that the authorities should stop searching for remedies to
diseases
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 which is costly and focus on investing in preventive measures. For me,
i
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I
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 only agree with them to a certain extent. The old ones used to
said
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say
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: "
prevention
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 is better than
cure
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", it is true that it would be better if you can prevent a disease than trying to
cure
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 it. Who needs to
cure
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diseases
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 if they don'
t
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 have it in the first place?
Instead
Linking Words
 of learning how to treat a cold, you should learn more about how to not catch a cold first. Not only is preventing
a
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apply
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disease not as costly as treating
them
Correct pronoun usage
it
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,
Add the word(s)
, but
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you
also
Linking Words
 won'
t
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be affect
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be affected
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 by
a
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apply
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disease
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disease's
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symptons
Correct your spelling
symptoms
 or sequela.
However
Linking Words
, there is a serious problem
to
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with
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this
Linking Words
 method.
Prevention
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don'
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doesn't
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t
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 always work and if we don'
t
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 know how to
cure
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diseases
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then
Linking Words
 we will be in big trouble. So,
instead
Linking Words
 of only
invest
Wrong verb form
investing
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 in
prevention
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method
Fix the agreement mistake
methods
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, governments need to invest in
Use synonyms
diseases
Change the noun form
disease
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 remedies too. Doing so will ensure that we can prevent
diseases
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 and
cure
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it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 when it comes. So,
i
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I
show examples
 think that it will be best for
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 to invest in both
Use synonyms
diseases
Change the noun form
disease
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prevention
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 and research to ensure
safety
Correct article usage
the safety
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to
Change preposition
of
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 its people from
diseases
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by huydn.abc on

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task achievement
Clarify and fully develop your main points with more specific examples. For instance, mention specific diseases where prevention has proven more cost-effective than treatment.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your ideas are clearly structured and linked. You might want to use more transition words or phrases to guide the reader from one point to another.
grammar vocabulary
Pay attention to grammar and vocabulary. While small inaccuracies are acceptable, aim to use consistent tenses and avoid spelling errors (e.g., "affect" should be "affected").
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion, which helps the reader follow your argument.
task achievement
You effectively acknowledge both sides of the argument, showing a clear understanding of the topic.
task achievement
You use relevant sayings and quotes, which make your argument more interesting and relatable.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • preventive care
  • prevalence
  • healthcare budgets
  • public health campaigns
  • healthy lifestyles
  • long-term benefits
  • early detection
  • intervention
  • severe stages
  • accessibility
  • public compliance
  • unpredictability
  • ethical considerations
  • resource allocation
  • lifestyle diseases
  • mitigate
  • global disparities
  • high-income countries
  • low-income countries
What to do next:
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