IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that giving children a certain amount of money every week will help them have fewer financial problems in the future. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #children #amount #money #week #future
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There is no denying the fact that the giving of
money
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 to the child.
While
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 it is a commonly held belief that giving young people
money
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 in daily weeks helps them have fewer financial challenges in the
future
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, there is
also
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 an argument that opposes it. I consider that belief giving
money
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 to the helps
children
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 build financial character.
To begin
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 with, giving
money
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 to a child
to
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apply
show examples
helps to develop financial skills, and teaching them to lead the global economy of the
future
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.
In other words
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, by Giving
money
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 to young people there it teaches them financial responsibility.
In addition
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, giving
money
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 to
children
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 more support for setting
money
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 goals.
For example
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, setting goals when buying toys or food. Another point to consider is certain the amount of
money
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 given develops economic thinking skills. It is
also
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 possible to say that the results of a study from HARVARD UNIVERSITY recommend limiting the amount of
money
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.
Moreover
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, teaching the child to sit on the
money
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 ceiling covers basic needs, And teaches them the benefits of saving
money
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.
For instance
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, preventing the financial consumption of
children
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. In conclusion, despite people having different views, I believe that I agree with giving
money
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 to
children
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 with to set amount of
money
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 daily or weekly, because helps them build their financial capacity, and haw learn economic skills, And learn how to make a huge wealthy. Working in global financial markets in the
future
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, it enable them to build the local and global economy in the
future
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.
Submitted by wedyanmassoud on

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task achievement
Ensure a complete and comprehensive response to the essay question, covering all aspects thoroughly.
task achievement
Provide more relevant and specific examples to illustrate points clearly.
task achievement
Make sure to provide clear and well-structured ideas across all paragraphs to improve clarity.
coherence cohesion
Organize ideas logically and smoothly between paragraphs for better coherence.
coherence cohesion
Support main points with appropriate evidence or explanation to strengthen arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, encapsulating the main idea well.
task achievement
Acknowledges the opposite viewpoint, adding depth to the discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial responsibility
  • weekly allowances
  • budgeting
  • saving
  • financial management
  • spending choices
  • future goals
  • experiential learning
  • trial and error
  • funds
  • independence
  • decision making
  • delayed gratification
  • debt
  • financial woes
  • financial habits
  • overspending
  • undervaluing money
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