IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #money #poverty #aid
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is true that rich
countries
Use synonyms
 often provide financial aid to poorer
countries
Use synonyms
, but
this
Linking Words
 does not always solve the problem of
poverty
Use synonyms
. I believe that
while
Linking Words
money
Use synonyms
 can help, it is not enough on its own, and developed
countries
Use synonyms
 should offer other types of support to help poor nations more effectively. One reason why
money
Use synonyms
 alone is not enough is that it can sometimes be misused. Governments or organizations in poor
countries
Use synonyms
 may not always use the
money
Use synonyms
 properly, and it may not reach the people who need it the most. In some cases, corruption can prevent the aid from having a real impact on
poverty
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
instead
Linking Words
 of just giving
money
Use synonyms
, developed
countries
Use synonyms
 should focus on helping poor
countries
Use synonyms
 build stronger systems to manage their resources effectively. Another important form of help is education. By providing access to education and training, rich
countries
Use synonyms
 can help people in poor
countries
Use synonyms
 improve their skills and find better jobs.
This
Linking Words
 would lead to long-term economic growth and reduce
poverty
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, developed
countries
Use synonyms
 can share their knowledge and technology to help poor
countries
Use synonyms
 improve their industries,
such
Linking Words
 as agriculture, healthcare, and infrastructure. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 financial aid can be useful, it is not enough to solve
poverty
Use synonyms
 in poor
countries
Use synonyms
. Developed
countries
Use synonyms
 should
also
Linking Words
 focus on offering education, technology, and better systems to help these nations grow in the long term. I believe
this
Linking Words
 approach would be more effective in fighting
poverty
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by muzun0612 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Specific Examples
Provide more specific examples or case studies to bolster arguments.
Logical Structure
Ensure all main points consistently support your position throughout the essay.
Task Response
Consider a balanced view, addressing potential counterarguments to strengthen the essay.
Introduction & Conclusion
The essay has a clear and concise introduction and conclusion.
Logical Structure
Logical structure and flow are maintained, making the essay easy to read and understand.
Comprehensive Ideas
Ideas are clearly explained with relevant supporting points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • poverty alleviation
  • economic inequality
  • developing nations
  • foreign aid
  • sustainable growth
  • technical assistance
  • expertise
  • infrastructure
  • education
  • fair trade
  • trade barriers
  • sustainable development
  • environmental conservation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: