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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many people believe that it is easier to have a healthy lifestyle in the countryside. Others say there are more health benefits to living in cities. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #lifestyle #countryside #health #cities
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Maintaining good
health
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 is a priority for many. Some argue living in the countryside is more conducive to good
health
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,
while
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 others believe
city
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life
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 offers more benefits.
Although
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 both environments have their advantages and disadvantages, I am inclined to agree with those who favour rural living.
City
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life
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 has undeniable advantages in terms of
health
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. The main one is the availability of
facilities
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 for improving
health
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, ranging from sports clubs to specialised clinics.
City
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 dwellers can participate in virtually any sport of their interest to stay fit, or they can access professional medical services for any
health
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 complaints. Apart from these
facilities
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, people in
cities
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 are often better educated and,
thus
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, more informed about healthy lifestyles, including proper diet and sleep.
As a result
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, urban residents are expected to be healthier than their rural counterparts. Despite all these advantages of
city
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life
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, I believe that people in the countryside tend to be healthier
overall
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. The most significant factor is the environment; villages typically do not suffer from air pollution because there is far less traffic compared to
cities
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.
Moreover
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, companies often build their factories closer to urban areas to reduce transport costs, leading to greater pollution in
cities
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. Clean air is far from the only benefit rural
life
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 offers; it
also
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 provides easier access to fresh, organic produce,
whereas
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city
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 supermarkets are normally supplied by commercial farmers who
focuses
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focus
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 on maximising crop yields using chemical fertilisers and pesticides.
Although
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 rural areas may lack the extensive sports
facilities
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 found in
cities
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, the daily activities associated with rural living,
such
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 as subsistence farming, collecting and cutting firewood, and gardening, naturally
incorporates
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incorporate
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 a significant amount of physical exercise. In conclusion,
although
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cities
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 boast more medical and sports
facilities
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 and the residents are generally more
health
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-conscious, the cleaner environment, active lifestyle, and access to fresh food in the countryside contribute to better
overall
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health
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 for those living there.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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task achievement
Develop each supporting point with more depth and clarity. Consider providing further examples and explanations.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the use of cohesive devices, ensuring each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next.
introduction conclusion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the arguments discussed.
task achievement
Both sides of the argument are addressed, demonstrating a well-balanced view.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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