Some children spend hours every day on their phones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive ar negative development?

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Many kids spend their leisure

time

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on mobile phones more often every single day.

This

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is because their parents don’t have

time

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for them and I believe

this

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can

cause

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negative development in

children

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's health. The main

cause

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this

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problem is, that parents don’t spend

time

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with their

children

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. Because they have to work for

hours

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to earn money for themselves.

However

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this

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is why youngsters stay on their phones or tablets because they can get entertained by games and vast videos.

For example

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, there are some adults who must go abroad for work, they leave their

children

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by themselves with only smartphones and tablets so they can stay calm, entertained and happy until when their parents get back from work. Spending

hours

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on screens can

cause

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various health problems in

children

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. They will stay all day long on the sofa and not get up even once. In

time

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, kids will suffer from visual defects because their eyes will get dizzy over

time

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Additionally

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, there would be muscular problems in an individual’s legs which means they can have a hard

time

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when walking because they have stayed in the same place for

hours

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For instance

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, research indicates that some youngsters are amputated because they have been set for significant

hours

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. In conclusion, adults not having enough

time

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for their kids can

cause

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serious medical health problems, which I believe has a huge impact on youth’s development because they will deal with

such

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things for the rest of their lives.

mcqueensever Tue Jan 28 2025

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coherence cohesion

Enhance the logical flow between paragraphs by using clearer transition phrases between your ideas.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples or studies to strengthen your arguments.

task achievement

Elaborate further on each point to improve clarity and depth of ideas.

coherence cohesion

Your essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your argument well.

task achievement

You've addressed the task by explaining the reasons and discussing the development clearly.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

250 words

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Some children spend hours every day on their phones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive ar negative development?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career,while others belive that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays, more people move away from their friends and families for work. Do advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that children are given too much free time. They feel that this time should be used to do more school work. How do you think children should spend their free time? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

.In many countries ,teenagers are encouraged to do part time jobs. what do you think are the advantages and disadvantages of doing part time jobs ?what's the situation like in your country?