IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some feel that tourism endangers culture while others feel it is beneficial. Dlscuss both sides and give your own opinion.

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Some people believe that
tourism
Use synonyms
 has a cultural risk whilst others
are not agree
Change the verb form
do not agree
show examples
 with
this
Linking Words
mean
Replace the word
meaning
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 and think that
tourism
Use synonyms
 has a positive impact on our culture.
In
Change preposition
This
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this
Linking Words
 essay will
be discussed
Wrong verb form
discuss
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 both sides and and give some explanation about why
tourism
Use synonyms
 plays an important role in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 development of
country
Add an article
the country
a country
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. On one hand, critics of
tourism
Use synonyms
 argue that it can harm local cultures and traditions. The influx of foreign
visitors
Use synonyms
 may lead to cultural dilution, as local communities adapt their customs to cater to tourists' expectations. In some cases, sacred traditions and historical sites are commercialized or disrespected by
visitors
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the rapid growth of
tourism
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 can contribute to the loss of authenticity, turning cultural heritage into mere attractions for profit.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, supporters believe that
tourism
Use synonyms
 has a positive impact on culture by fostering mutual understanding and respect. Exposure to diverse cultures encourages locals to appreciate their own heritage and share it proudly with
visitors
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
tourism
Use synonyms
 often generates funds for the preservation of cultural sites and supports local artisans who keep traditional crafts alive. The interaction between tourists and local communities
also
Linking Words
 promotes global awareness and strengthens social connections. In my opinion,
tourism
Use synonyms
 plays a vital role in the development of a country by boosting the economy and enhancing cultural exchange.
However
Linking Words
, it is essential to manage
tourism
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 responsibly to protect cultural heritage and ensure sustainable growth. Governments and communities should establish guidelines to promote respectful
tourism
Use synonyms
 that benefits both locals and
visitors
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. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
tourism
Use synonyms
 may pose certain cultural risks, its advantages in terms of cultural preservation and economic growth are significant. With careful management,
tourism
Use synonyms
 can become a valuable tool for cultural enrichment and national development.

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task achievement
Expand on specific examples. Including more detailed examples would strengthen your arguments and enhance clarity and engagement.
task achievement
Ensure consistent use of articles like "a," "an," and "the." For example, "not agree with this **mean**" should be "not agree with this **view**."
coherence cohesion
Check for typos or grammatical errors, such as "not agree," which should be "do not agree."
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced discussion, adequately exploring both sides of the argument regarding tourism's impact on culture.
coherence cohesion
There is a logical flow of ideas, transitioning smoothly from one point to the next.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the discussion, clearly stating the purpose and summarizing the writer's opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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