IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The graph shows data about the average Saturday sales of two bakeries in London in 2010. Beka

The graph shows data about the average Saturday sales of two bakeries in London in 2010. Beka
The bar chart represents information about the average Saturday sales of two confectioneries in London in 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
 , we can see Bernie's Buns had more profit-making than
another bakery
Fix the agreement mistake
other bakeries
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. Lovely loaves had more sales in products named salad and fresh bread ,
while
Linking Words
 Bernie's buns
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 a leader in other categories. The bestselling products were doughnuts and cookies , showing around 140 and 120 respectively in Bernie's Buns and nearly 120 and 70 in Lovely loaves . The other three bakeries
such
Linking Words
 as cakes , toasted sandwiches and crisps represented similar trends , illustrating 70 to 100 on cakes , 50 to 80 for sandwiches and 40 to about 80 for crisps in both stores . Fresh bread and salads ,
on the other hand
Linking Words
 , were sold more by Lovely loaves , enumerating for 10 and 50 more trades than another shop. The lowest rate occurred for rolls at both shops , presenting only approximately 20 items per day.

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Vocabulary: The word "represents" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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