Every country has poor people and every country 5tghas different ways of dealing with the poor. What are some of the reasons for poverty? What can we do to help the poor? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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One of the conspicuous trends of today's world is a colossal upsurge in the gap between needy and wealthy citizens in almost every part of the world. There are myriad factors which contribute to
this
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problem. I will discuss these causes with some potential solutions in the upcoming paragraphs. At the onset, there are a plethora of reasons why
this
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is happening. The most devastating is
tax
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policies. Many
tax
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systems favour the rich, allowing them to accumulate more wealth,
while
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lower-income groups pay a higher proportion of their total salary in taxes.
For example
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, it has been seen many times that the government waives the
tax
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on big celebrities.
Moreover
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, in developing countries like India, there is discrimination and systemic barriers. Gender, racial and social racism is common in the work field which limits economic opportunities for marginalized groups. Needless to say, all these drawbacks have a far-reaching impact on the entire nation.
However
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, some effective and immediate steps must be taken in order to tackle the issue of wealth inequality.
To begin
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with, authorities should make some vigilant efforts and stringent implementations. It must apply high taxes on wealthy individuals and reduce
tax
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loopholes to ensure fair wealth distribution.
Besides
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, companies should provide equal opportunities to each candidate regardless of their background, colour and sex. It would help them to make the workplace more productive and diverse. In conclusion, from what has been discussed above I can certainly conclude that
although
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this
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concern is dire to the country,
however
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by enforcing a few actions we can definitely minimize the ramifications created by
this
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unequal money segmentation.

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task achievement
Your introduction is clear, but it could benefit from a stronger thesis statement. Try to express the main points you will discuss more explicitly.
task achievement
Make sure to provide more detailed explanations and examples to support your arguments. This will strengthen your overall response.
coherence and cohesion
The organization of your essay is generally good, but ensure that each paragraph clearly focuses on a single idea. This will enhance the clarity and flow of your argument.
coherence and cohesion
While your conclusion summarizes your main points, it could be more impactful by restating the importance of addressing wealth inequality and summarizing your solutions succinctly.
task achievement
You presented relevant reasons for poverty and proposed thoughtful solutions, showcasing a good understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is structured logically with clear paragraphs, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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