Some modern artist receive huge sums of money for the things they create, while other struggle to survive. Governments should take steps to resolve this unfair situation. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In our modern society,
artists
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make significant amounts of
money
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from organising concerts or events, at the same time some people should give their blood sweat and tears to earning that much
money
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. It is argued that authorities must set some kind of rule to deter
this
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prejudiced statement. I strongly disagree with
this
Linking Words
situation because
artists
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are not responsible for
others
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' salaries, every individual should decide in what way to earn
money
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. No one can deny that, singers or well-known
artists
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earn
money
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not because they are just famous they get
money
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for their hard work from their real fans, who support them in every situation and they don't regret that. Being popular and having more income than
others
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doesn't mean that they are unfair and getting someone's desired
money
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.
For example
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, there are more and more artist who pour their soul into accomplishing and deserve
others
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' love and support, they have done so much work throughout the years to become who they are now.
On the other hand
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, not all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
artists
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are as popular and successful as we expect. Non-
artists
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may
also
Linking Words
get more income their way, they make decisions to make careers and enhance their reputation.
Furthermore
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, I would argue that the government has no right to deter or reduce the income of characters just because they get more earnings than
others
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who suffer and struggle to get that sum. So, people who are not
artists
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should give more effort to acquire equal savings as
artists
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or creators. In conclusion, I believe that authorities can do nothing related to
this
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unfair problem
,
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apply
show examples
because everyone is responsible for their career and the
money
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they earn.

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task achievement
Consider providing a clearer thesis statement in your introduction that explicitly outlines your stance on the issue.
coherence and cohesion
Use more varied linking words and phrases to connect your ideas and paragraphs, which can help enhance the flow of your argument.
task achievement
Make sure to provide more specific examples or elaborations to support your main points effectively.
task achievement
You have clearly expressed your disagreement with the idea that governments should intervene in artists' earnings.
task achievement
Your points about hard work and fan support highlight the value of popular artists, showing a good understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
You have attempted to address different perspectives, which adds depth to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Economic disparity
  • Market demand
  • Public visibility
  • Artistic merit
  • Equitable distribution
  • Government intervention
  • Free market
  • Bureaucratic complications
  • Social and economic inequalities
  • Targeted government assistance
  • Wider reforms
  • Commercial viability
  • Niche audiences
  • Financial rewards
  • Systemic issues
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