IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the graph show male and female leisure times

the graph show male and female leisure times
The bar chart provides information about the
times
Use synonyms
 of
leisure
Use synonyms
 for employment
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 multiple
Use synonyms
status
Change to a plural noun
statuses
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is notable that
males
Use synonyms
 enjoyed
leisure
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
 more than
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 in employed
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
, unemployed and retired
status
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 did not enjoy enough free
Use synonyms
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
 in other
Use synonyms
status
Fix the agreement mistake
statuses
show examples
. The first
status
Use synonyms
 is employed full
time
Use synonyms
 we can see that
males
Use synonyms
 compete female by about 10%
times
Use synonyms
 more.
Also
Linking Words
, unemployed
males
Use synonyms
 enjoyed
time
Use synonyms
 more than
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 around 80%.
Lastly
Linking Words
, retired
males
Use synonyms
 had
most
Correct quantifier usage
more
show examples
leisure
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
 than
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 by 90%. It is clear from the graph that
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 in most
Use synonyms
status
Fix the agreement mistake
statuses
show examples
 not
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 enough
leisure
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
 in different
Use synonyms
status
Fix the agreement mistake
statuses
show examples
. Female employed
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 had only 40% and it continued to increase in unemployed and retired
status
Use synonyms
 nearly 70%.
Housewives
Change noun form
Housewives'
Housewife's
show examples
 free
times
Use synonyms
approximately
Add a missing verb
are approximately
show examples
 45%.you can see from the graph that no data had been shown for
males
Use synonyms
 in two statues which are employed
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 and housewives.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words times, leisure, status, males, time with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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