IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people say that the most important requirement of a modern city is an effective public transport systems. While other people believe that there are other important requirements for a city. Discuss both views, give your opinion

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These days, creating an efficient infrastructure is crucial for modern cities. Some individuals believe that the most important factor for a developing city is an effective public
transport
Use synonyms
 arrangement,
while
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 others argue that
instead
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 of setting up a public transportation organization there are other essential things
such
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 as a
healthcare
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 organization or a utilization
system
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.
This
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 essay will explore both perspectives before presenting my own view. Let's begin by looking at the views of setting up a public
transport
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system
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. The government may enhance mobility for residents and especially improve the budget of people who cannot afford to purchase cars by organizing an effective
transport
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system
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 . One of the worst things is that the insufficiency of the contemporary public
transport
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system
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 definitely contributes to traffic congestion and air pollution. What I mean by
this
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 is that a productive public
transport
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system
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 can reduce traffic congestion and air pollution levels.
Also
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 if the
transport
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 Use synonyms shipmentshippingtransittransportationcarriagecarriercarryingcartingconveyanceconveying It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.
system
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 is effective and well-thought it may turn the city into a tourist attraction
as well as
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 a lucrative site for start-ups. Take the UK
system
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for example
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. if you visit
this
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 country you will never see any private cars on the roads.
In addition
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,
this
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 often leads to utilising top-level service and some cases a sense of convenience. Turning to the other side of the argument, there are other factors which have major problems like
healthcare
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, education, housing, and environmental sustainability. Every year millions of people die who have lung cancer or a strong level of diabetes or heart attack. It is apparent that to tackle the problem government should invest more in
healthcare
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 facilities. Another issue is that today, more and more animals have become extinct and marine species suffered from the utilization
system
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. The population of the earth is rising so we have to attempt to survive in green areas.
Additionally
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, urban planning prevents overcrowding.
For instance
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, in Uzbekistan, a lot of buildings are constructed and
as a result
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 the citizens need fresh air and the green zones are decreased All things considered,
while
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 efficient public
transport
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 is essential for urban development, a holistic approach that includes
healthcare
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, education, housing, and environmental sustainability is equally important for enhancing the quality of life.

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coherence and cohesion
Consider enhancing your introduction by outlining the key points you will discuss to give clearer direction to your essay.
task achievement
In your conclusion, emphasize your opinion more distinctly to leave a clearer impression of your stance.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure a balanced approach by dedicating equal attention and depth to both viewpoints, as some sections feel a bit less developed than others.
language
You've made good use of complex sentence structures, demonstrating a solid grasp of English grammar.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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