In some culture children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

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It is undeniable that in the era of culture, life become more convenient to learn than ever.
However
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, certain cultures believe
children
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can accomplish everything via making
mistakes
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which has several positives. Despite others saying it has drawbacks.
This
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essay will delve into the advantages of the phenomenon outweigh the disadvantages. On the one hand, there are numerous merits which are directly linked to
this
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alarming situation. The first and foremost positive impact is acquiring extra knowledge. What is more, a variety of students study hard at school but unfortunately, fail in some subjects. To demonstrate more, a later study conducted by the University of Nizwa in 2023 showed that 65% of students do not pass the history exam, after a couple of years, they succeed in humanities subjects
due to
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learning hard. Sequentially, members of the community learn from
mistakes
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and acquire extra experience.
On the other hand
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, demerits play a crucial role in
this
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case on specific individuals. To illustrate more, some
children
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have bad emotions when they make
mistakes
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due to
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parents.
Hence
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, more adults lost their ability to express their needs. A clear example is a report by UNESCO survey shows numerous teenagers cannot share in outdoor activities in the long term because when they were
children
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, did not try to learn.
As a result
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,
children
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depend on their parents for the smallest needs. In conclusion, no doubt in
this
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era of neck-to-neck competition, residents encourage
children
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to be more responsible about their lives by taking adequate opportunities to face challenges not only that but
also
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making
mistakes
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and successes later in their first years have
a
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apply
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profound impact on citizens, these can be lessened by some immediate steps by the government and parents.

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Task Achievement
Work on improving the clarity and development of your main ideas. Ensure each paragraph clearly presents one main point supported by specific examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
Enhance the logical flow between ideas in your essay. Use more linking words and phrases to help the reader follow your argument more easily.
Coherence and Cohesion
Refine your introduction to provide a clearer overview of the essay. Ensure it sets up the discussion effectively and includes both sides of the argument, and also rephrase your thesis statement for clarity.
Task Achievement
The essay tackles both advantages and disadvantages of the topic, showing an understanding of the complexity involved in discussing the subject.
Task Achievement
Some examples provided, such as the study from the University of Nizwa, show engagement with the topic and add relevance to your arguments.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • persistence
  • resilience
  • self-esteem
  • confidence
  • motivation
  • disappointment
  • frustration
  • unrealistic expectations
  • talent
  • opportunity
  • socio-economic conditions
  • success
  • failure
  • learning process
  • valuable lessons
  • pressure
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • fear of failure
  • mental health
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