IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some believe that robots play a crucial role in shaping humanity’s future, whereas others argue that they pose risks and could harm society. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is a debate over the importance of
robots
Use synonyms
, with some saying they ensure potential opportunities and others argue that the development of
robots
Use synonyms
 may lead to serious consequences to both society and people.
While
Linking Words
 it is true that
robots
Use synonyms
 may ensure safety and save the
overall
Linking Words
 budget of the government, I strongly believe that they are highly likely to produce unwanted situations
such
Linking Words
 as less job offer and potential health issues. These days, technology is rapidly advancing globally, leading to the invention of
robots
Use synonyms
 in which they offer safety in some occupations. Since some jobs require more physical responsibility with pressure where some people unable to perform as good as
robots
Use synonyms
. In
such
Linking Words
 cases, the usage of them would be an optimal way.
For example
Linking Words
, factory workers often experience with harsh physical challenges during work, thereby leading to death and disability. As long as
robots
Use synonyms
 replace the place of
such
Linking Words
 employees,
this
Linking Words
 might prevent from aforementioned problems. Despite these, I still remain convinced that the implementation of
robots
Use synonyms
 in every place may lead to the suffer of humanity. It is common to see that the system of many workplaces are being replaced by machines that are able to control fully with the need for human help.
As a consequence
Linking Words
, people are underemployed and the number is a growing concern in many authorities.
Thus
Linking Words
, systemizing them in a variety realms can actually expand the poor stage of population worldwide. Another reason why
robots
Use synonyms
 should be restricted strictly is worse health concerns. Since, some home
robots
Use synonyms
 make everything available for us. Resulting to sedentary lifestyle, involving some diseases
such
Linking Words
 as obesity, heart attack and blood pressure.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the limitation of them may support to stabilize the society and offer balanced lifestyle as a whole. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
robots
Use synonyms
 play an integral role in shaping better life for us, I suspect that consequences they yield eventually erode the root of society and harm the humanity.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to develop your main points with more depth and clarity, providing specific examples and explanations to support your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Strengthen your introduction by clearly stating the two opposing views and outline your opinion more explicitly.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and connects logically to the subsequent sentences for better flow.
task achievement
You presented a clear opinion on the topic, which is essential for achieving a good score.
task achievement
Your points on the role of robots in creating safety in the workplace are relevant and important to the discussion.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: