IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some argue that schools should prioritize life skills such as working in teams and solving problems instead of traditional academics.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The teaching of life skills
such
Linking Words
 as teamwork and problem-solving should be offered by schools rather than casual academic subjects. I totally agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement as it leads to several benefits that have positive impacts on student's professional and personal lives,
also
Linking Words
 on another aspect.
Firstly
Linking Words
, working in a team has numerous priorities for children’s personal and mental achievements.
For instance
Linking Words
,
due to
Linking Words
 group work, students learn how to express their ideas clearly and without any hesitation as teamwork teaches them how to work with different personalities. Obviously, sharing thoughts freely and knowing how to act in groups can assist in building great self-confidence which is beneficial for their career path, especially for finding jobs. The reason is, that employers always try to find candidates with considerable confidence and with the ability to deal with people in a grouping. One clear example can be the sphere of media in which working together is important which is why every profession namely film director, actors, and camera operator has its own responsibility.
Moreover
Linking Words
, teaching problem-solving at schools is essential because it encourages learners with abilities like analyzing and adopting real-life challenges.
That is
Linking Words
 because, during
such
Linking Words
 kinds of tasks, people have to think fast and logically in order to find solutions. After completing a huge amount of tasks on tackling issues, people automatically learn how to act in different situations. Especially in emergency situations, acting quickly to call an ambulance or giving first aid help when someone is injured is crucial.
To conclude
Linking Words
, encouraging life skills in schools can significantly benefit learners by having positive effects on their career and mental beings.
In addition
Linking Words
, they can build their self-confidence, resulting in great outcomes for their professional lives.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
While the introduction provides a clear opinion, it could be strengthened by briefly outlining the reasons that will be discussed in the body paragraphs. This will give the reader a guide to your argument.
Task Achievement
Some arguments are well-developed, but others could benefit from more detailed exploration. For instance, explaining why teamwork specifically boosts self-confidence or providing a more direct connection to future career impacts would enhance clarity.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay flows well, but transitions between some points could be smoother. Using linking phrases explicitly can help guide the reader through your reasoning.
Coherence and Cohesion
The conclusion summarizes the main points effectively, but it could further reinforce your argument by explicitly stating the potential long-term benefits of prioritizing life skills.
Task Achievement
The essay reflects a clear stance supporting life skills, showing strong engagement with the topic.
Task Achievement
The use of examples, especially those related to teamwork and media professions, illustrates points effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is a logical flow to your ideas, especially in building the argument around teamwork and problem-solving.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Prioritize
  • Life skills
  • Traditional academics
  • Teamwork
  • Problem-solving
  • Holistic education
  • Real-world challenges
  • Soft skills
  • Intellectual growth
  • Balanced education
  • Comprehensive skill set
  • Core subjects
  • Vocational training
What to do next:
Look at other essays: