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Writing Samples
Band 7

Now the machine is very complex, a lot of work is automated. Machine automation pros and cons?

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In recent years, the machine is becoming more complex and smart. A multitude of
work
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 that was once done by humans is now automated.
This
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 essay will discuss
this
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 topic from both sides of view with some detailed explanations. On the one hand, it is beneficial in a number of ways including increasing efficiency and speed, saving costs in the long run. First of all,
machines
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 encourage humanity because of their speed and they
work
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 well and longer than humans.
For example
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, in industrial companies, it is preferable to
work
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machines
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with machines
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 because they do not need breaks.
As a result
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, more
work
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 gets done in less time.
However
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, it leads to reducing human errors, especially in industries , for example,manufacturing or medicine.
Moreover
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, once installed
machines
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 can reduce labor costs.
Besides
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 that, companies save money because fewer workers are needed.
On the other hand
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, there are some minus sides of machine automation. It causes job loss. Many workers may lose. Especially in factories, retail, and transport automation can lead to unemployment.
For example
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, In Uzbekistan, a couple of years ago, it was the
work
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 of bus conductors with fare money and give tickets. As for now, it has been done by automatic technology. Apart from that, it makes us dependent more on technology. If
machines
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 or systems fail,
work
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 may stop completely.
To sum up
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, machine automation has both benefits and drawbacks. It can make our lives easier, faster and safer,
as well as
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 it
also
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 brings challenges at the same time.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure that the introduction clearly states the main points you will discuss in the essay. Additionally, try to paraphrase the topic more effectively.
task achievement
Provide more detailed explanations for each pro and con discussed, drawing upon a wider range of examples or evidence where appropriate.
coherence and cohesion
Try to vary your sentence structure to enhance fluency and coherence. This can help improve the overall reading experience.
task achievement
You successfully presented both sides of the argument, providing a balanced view of the pros and cons of machine automation.
task achievement
Your use of examples, like the situation in Uzbekistan, shows a good attempt to support your points, making your argument more relatable.
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