Online shopping is replacing shopping in stores. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

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Over the
last
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decade, shopping in physical stores has gradually been taken over by cyber shopping, causing a heated debate around the globe. Before presenting my personal opinion on
this
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matter, I would like to discuss the benefits and drawbacks of
this
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lifestyle change. On the one hand, the invention of digital stores has significantly enhanced the level of convenience for customers. With most of our daily items available on the Internet, people no longer need to worry about the difficulty of navigating between shops at different locations to compare the prices and hunt for the ideal product. Taking
Taobao
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Taobao's
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website in China
for example
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, it is relatively easy to find cheap bargains online using the powerful search engine.
Moreover
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, by simply clicking the mouse, these purchases are sent directly to your home.
Therefore
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, it is undeniable that these virtual shopping platforms
has
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have
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substantially reduced the amount of hustle for us when it comes to shopping.
On the other hand
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,
however
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, these shopping websites do inevitably pose negative impacts on
the
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apply
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local retailers.
This
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is because individuals are less likely to go outside to buy the things that they need when there are alternatives feasible online. Here in Australia, it is not new to hear of small family businesses being forced to shut down
due to
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the prevalence of online shopping.
Accordingly
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, the growing number of shoppers online could be detrimental to the retail industries, which enables more problems from a broader community perspective. Personally, I argue that shopping online stores is a double-sided knife.
Although
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those websites undeniably simplify the process of shopping and make things more accessible for people around the world, the conventional approach at the same time should not be overlooked. We should not underestimate the customised services and personal experiences offered by the physical shops.
In other words
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, both types of businesses are needed in order to cater to the diverse needs of
the
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21st century
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21st-century
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customers.

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task achievement
Consider making your conclusion more definitive by clearly stating whether you ultimately see online shopping as a positive or negative development, rather than using a metaphor like 'double-sided knife'.
coherence and cohesion
Try to enhance the logical flow between paragraphs by using more linking phrases. This can help readers follow your argument more easily.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with a well-defined introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. This makes it easy for the reader to navigate through your thoughts.
task achievement
The use of specific examples, like Taobao and local Australian businesses, adds credibility to your arguments and illustrates the points well.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • online shopping
  • shopping in stores
  • convenience
  • accessibility
  • wide variety
  • comparative pricing
  • crowds
  • queues
  • price comparison
  • returning and exchanging items
  • local businesses
  • personal interaction
  • sensory experience
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