IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Being healthy is an essential part of human life. As there is speculation that people's
health
Use synonyms
 will be poorer in general, I personally strongly disagree with
this
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 statement. Scientific knowledge and technology help maintain a healthy lifestyle more effectively, and the trend of environmental sustainability
also
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 reduces harmful substance usage in the environment. In modern society, scientific and technological advancements have vital roles in the healthcare industry and provide knowledge and devices for monitoring and disease prevention. To be aware of their own
health
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 conditions, people will be more careful about having food and willing to change behaviours.
For example
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, currently, there is a genomic examination to provide complete data on an individual's genetics. That person will be notified of all potential allergies, genetic-transmitted diseases and risks, which enable one to eliminate possibilities of contacting allergens and pass on genetic conditions to their descendants.
Hence
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, the population will have a higher proportion of strong genes, which reflect a higher resistance to being sick.
On the other hand
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, sustainable city ideation attempts to reduce the use of chemical substances and increase reliance on natural products, which is
also
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 beneficial to our well-being. With less exposure to harmful substances and pollution, the public will be living in a cleaner and safer environment, that eventually affects
overall
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health
Use synonyms
.
For instance
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, microplastic is linked to several pathological conditions. Plastic reduction campaigns not only decrease pollution but
also
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 decrease the
health
Use synonyms
 risks.
Therefore
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, there is a positive outcome that the public will be less likely to fall ill if we solve the environmental problems. In conclusion, as new knowledge and technology are provided and living in a better environment, I completely disagree that people's
health
Use synonyms
 in the future will be worse than now.

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task achievement
Expand on your examples to provide more depth and illustrative details, which can strengthen your arguments and support your points better.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between your paragraphs to enhance the flow of your ideas, making it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
task achievement
Consider addressing potential counterarguments in more detail to present a balanced view, which can demonstrate a higher level of critical thinking.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your position, making it easy for the reader to understand your stance immediately.
task achievement
The use of specific examples, such as genomic examination and plastic reduction campaigns, effectively supports your main points and demonstrates your arguments concretely.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. Standard of health
  • 2. Average
  • 3. Lower
  • 4. Future
  • 5. Aging population
  • 6. Chronic diseases
  • 7. Sedentary lifestyle
  • 8. Lack of exercise
  • 9. Poor dietary habits
  • 10. Environmental pollution
  • 11. Technological advancements
  • 12. Impact on health
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