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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. (Ulvi)

The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. (Ulvi)
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The line graph illustrates how many
visitors
Use synonyms
 went to a particular
Carribbean
Correct your spelling
Caribbean
island
Use synonyms
 from 2010 to 2017. The units are measured in millions.
Overall
Linking Words
, what stands out from the chart is that the quantity of total people increased dramatically.
While
Linking Words
 the figure for tourists who stayed on the
island
Use synonyms
 was more than that of tourists
spent
Correct pronoun usage
who spent
show examples
 time on cruise ships,
at the end
Linking Words
 of the period they changed their places. Moving to a more detailed analysis, the indicator of the tourists
stayed
Wrong verb form
staying
show examples
 on ships and the
island
Use synonyms
 stood at less than 0.5 and under 1, respectively in 2010.
Although
Linking Words
 the latter remained stable until 2011, the former
incerased
Correct your spelling
increased
 to 0.5. Following four years, the gap between these indicators narrowed and the figure for
visitors
Use synonyms
 staying
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
Use synonyms
island
Correct article usage
the island
show examples
 reached its high of 1.5.
While
Linking Words
 the indicator of
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
Correct pronoun usage
who stayed
show examples
stayed
Wrong verb form
staying
show examples
 on cruise ships continued rising and finished period at 2, that of ones staying on
Use synonyms
island
Correct article usage
the island
show examples
flactuated
Correct your spelling
fluctuated
fluctuate
 and stopped at 1.5 in 2017. With regard to the
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of total
visitors
Use synonyms
, it accounted for 1 million in 2010.  The figure for total
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
 rose sharply till 2015 to more than 2.5. There was a dramatic increase in the number of total
visitors
Use synonyms
 to 3.5 until 2017 after
reamaining
Correct your spelling
remaining
 stable for one year.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors, island with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stayed" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stands" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "dramatically" was used 2 times.
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