IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Fast food has become more common in recent years. What are the reasons and what are its effects on people?

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Today, it is usual to consume fast
food
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. There are different reasons for
this
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 situation,
such
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 as affordable cost and addiction to it, and it has possible effects, like health-related issues. First of all, junk
food
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 is more inexpensive than traditional
food
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.
In other words
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, consumers spend less
money
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 on
this
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 type of meal, and they think that by doing
this
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, they save their budget.
As a result
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, fast
food
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 and traditional
meals
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 have changed their places. Another possible reason for the increased amount of fast
food
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 is addiction. To elaborate, it is true that there are
food
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 additives in it, which make
meals
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 more delicious.
Therefore
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, after eating one time individuals again want to eat them and it has made processed
food
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 popular. Turning to the effects, one of them is that some illnesses stem from unhealthy eating habits. To be more specific, fast
food
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 and other types of
meals
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 in which chemicals are used can cause various diseases,
such
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 as stomachaches or digestion disorders.
For instance
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, a study in a journal in the USA has found that people who eat junk
food
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 have twice as
much
Change the quantifier
many
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risks of diabetes or other health problems, as people who consume healthy
food
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. Another possible effect is positive. After fast
food
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 is popular among people, restaurants earn more
money
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, because they allocate less
money
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 for producing these
meals
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. So, it is good for restaurants to sell junk
food
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 at a high cost. In conclusion, taking all the aforementioned points into account, I am convinced that dependence on fast
food
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 and spending less
money
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 on them make
this
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food
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 popular today.
Although
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 processed
food
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 can cause health disorders, it can be beneficial for producers of it.

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coherence and cohesion
The introduction can be more explicit in outlining the main points that will be discussed in the essay. A clear thesis statement stating the reasons and effects will enhance clarity.
task achievement
In the body paragraphs, try to provide more detailed explanations of how certain factors lead to the popularity of fast food and its effects. For example, specific statistics or studies can strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure all points are well-developed and connected logically. For instance, the transition from discussing reasons to effects could be smoother.
task achievement
Consider elaborating on the positive effects of fast food mentioned in your conclusion to balance the discussion. This would provide a more rounded view of the topic.
task achievement
The essay identifies key reasons and effects related to the popularity of fast food, which shows an understanding of the prompt.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of the essay is clear with distinct paragraphs for different points, which helps in guiding the reader through your arguments.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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