IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

When so many people are starving to deaths in different parts of the world, is it justifiable for any government to spend huge amounts of money over the space exploration projects?

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A high percentage of revenues are spent on
space
Use synonyms
 research projects by authorities but
on the other hand
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 group of individuals argue that it is useless as the common man is dying
due to
Linking Words
 poverty. I will explain both advantages and disadvantages in the upcoming paragraphs. The first and foremost reason that the government is spending money on
space
Use synonyms
 exploration projects is that, it is undeniable, that there is an end to everything and no one knows when an apocalypse will take Earth away.
That is
Linking Words
 why, research on Mars is given so much importance to facilitate people in the challenging future of tomorrow. Another reason
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 is that it is living proof that science and automation have
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 strength to break all the barriers. Moving ahead, the boons of spacecraft are exemplary. To exemplify, in the first place common smoke detector used in homes was
initially
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 made for spaceships. Apart from that, the pacemaker used in healthcare was originally made to be used by astronauts.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Global warming is harmful to almost every corner of the world and
space
Use synonyms
 experimentation contributes to it eventually.
Secondly
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, it is ironically true that even if
space
Use synonyms
 exploration would be beneficial, benefits would be given to rich people first. Conclusion - In conclusion, I would like to assert that, no doubt
space
Use synonyms
 analysis provides us benefits of finding new
space
Use synonyms
 for life. Contrary, it
also
Linking Words
 contributes to environmental problems.
Therefore
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, in my opinion where
space
Use synonyms
 projects are important government should not neglect the common problems of society and should provide more employment opportunities, healthcare facilities, etc.

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task achievement
Ensure a clearer thesis statement in the introduction that outlines your main arguments more explicitly.
coherence and cohesion
Work on linking your ideas more effectively to improve flow, especially between paragraphs.
task achievement
Include more balanced examples and elaboration on the disadvantages of space exploration to ensure a thorough exploration of the topic.
task achievement
The essay presents relevant examples related to space exploration, enhancing your argument framework.
task achievement
You successfully highlighted both sides of the argument, which is essential in responding to the prompt.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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