Some people think that the best way to motivate individuals to adopt a healthier lifestyle is through government legislation, such as taxes on unhealthy food. Others believe that personal choice should be encouraged instead. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

It is often argued that introducing
government
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legislation is the best method to encourage individuals to adopt a healthy lifestyle,
while
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others believe that promoting individual responsibility is more important. In my point of view, I believe that the responsibilities should be on both
government
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and individuals to reach the full potential of behaviour shift. On one
hand
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, governments possess the authority and resources to influence public
behavior
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behaviour
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on a large scale. Through legislation, they can create environments that support healthy choices.
For example
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, Switzerland, known for its high life expectancy, has implemented taxes on sugary drinks and introduced warning labels on products high in sugar, salt, and unhealthy fats.
Such
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measures discourage unhealthy consumption habits and make it easier for people to make informed choices.
Additionally
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, governments can regulate food advertising and improve access to public fitness facilities to support healthy living.
On the other
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hand
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, individual responsibility plays a crucial role in sustaining healthy habits. Ultimately, people must make daily decisions about what they eat, how often they exercise, and whether they avoid harmful
behaviors
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behaviours
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such
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as smoking. Without individual cooperation,
government
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efforts may not reach their full potential. Public education campaigns can help bridge
this
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gap by raising awareness about the long-term health risks of poor lifestyle choices,
such
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as chronic illness and increased medical expenses. In conclusion,
while
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government
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legislation can shape healthier environments and provide support structures, the effectiveness of these policies depends heavily on personal commitment and action.
Therefore
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, both
government
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initiatives and individual responsibility must work
hand
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in
hand
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to successfully promote a healthier society.

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task achievement
Your essay presents well-defined arguments for both sides, ensuring a balanced discussion. To improve further, consider giving more specific examples or data to strengthen your points.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure smoother transitions between ideas for better flow. For example, using phrases like 'Moreover' or 'In addition' could help connect sentences and ideas better.
coherence and cohesion
You have a strong introduction that presents the topic clearly and outlines your viewpoint.
task achievement
The use of a relevant example, Switzerland’s taxation on sugary drinks, effectively supports your argument about government action.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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