In some cultures, children are often told that they can achive anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this messages?

this

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present world,

kids

Use synonyms

are often told that they can reach anything if they try hard enough.

However

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, there are many benefits and drawbacks to

this

Linking Words

culture

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

essay will elaborate on the benefits, which are raising the

children

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's confidence to try new things and having bold

dreams

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On the other hand

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, there is a drawback to

this

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situation,

for instance

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kids

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will have mental

health

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issues if they can't obtain their

dreams

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Firstly

Linking Words

kids

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will be brave to try new experiences if they are told that they can achieve anything. To illustrate,

children

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, who live in

Jakarta

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, are more likely to learn new skills, languages, etc. It happens because their

parents

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are open-minded and always support their

children

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to pursue higher knowledge.

Moreover

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, their

parents

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asked their

children

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to have higher

dreams

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. It can be seen that many International schools and courses in

Jakarta

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. These institutions are mentoring students to reach Ivy League universities in the world.

Therefore

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, in

Jakarta

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culture

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, many

parents

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tell their offspring that they can achieve anything as long as they work hard.

However

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, there is a drawback of

this

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culture

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such

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as, many

children

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are having mental issues in the big cities. Based on the studies in

Jakarta

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's educational system, many students go to mental

health

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hospitals or psychiatrists.

This

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circumstance happens

due to

Linking Words

many

kids

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can't accept their lives and pressures from their

parents

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Thus

Linking Words

parents

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, who push their

kids

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to try hard enough, will disappointed if their

kids

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can't achieve anything which impacts their

kids

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' mental

health

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. In conclusion, raising

children

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's confidence to learn something new and having great

dreams

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are examples of

this

Linking Words

culture

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's advantages.

However

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, there

Change the verb form

are

show examples

drawbacks as well,

such

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as mental

health

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issues that might happen.

Therefore

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parents

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should manage their expectations and their

children

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's expectations about their achievements.

ziziTue May 06 2025

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task achievement

The essay covers the topic and presents both advantages and disadvantages, but it could benefit from a clearer structure. Each point should be more distinctly defined, perhaps with separate paragraphs dedicated to advantages and disadvantages.

task achievement

Some ideas need further development and explanation. For instance, elaborating on how mental health issues arise from societal pressures could strengthen your argument.

coherence and cohesion

Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to create smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs, enhancing the overall flow of the essay.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that grammar and spelling are checked for accuracy, as minor mistakes can distract the reader from the main points being made.

task achievement

The essay successfully outlines both sides of the argument, which is a strong aspect of your task response.

coherence and cohesion

The introduction clearly states the topic and the main points to be discussed, providing a clear direction for the essay.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – advantages
Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

The main advantage is...
The disadvantage of this...
The main benefit...
Despite these advantages...
One possible drawback...

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

302 words

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In some cultures, children are often told that they can achive anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this messages?

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

Some people think the governments should increase the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles in order to solve environmental problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities.Others however say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more imporant. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Government invest in the arts, such as music and theatre is waste of money. Government must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement? Give reason for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.