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Writing Samples
Band 7

In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

In some countries, university
students
Use synonyms
 prefer to live at
home
Use synonyms
 with their families during their studies,
while
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 in others, they choose to move to another city or even abroad. In my opinion, the advantages of living away from
home
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 during university far outweigh the disadvantages.
This
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 experience helps
students
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 develop independence and a deeper appreciation for their families.
Firstly
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, living independently teaches young people valuable life skills. When
students
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 live alone, they are responsible for daily tasks
such
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 as cooking, cleaning, and managing their finances. These responsibilities help them become more self-reliant and better prepared for adulthood.
For example
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, a student who has to budget for groceries or pay rent learns to plan and
prioritize
Use the right word
prioritise
show examples
, which is essential for future success in both personal and professional life.
Secondly
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, being away from
home
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 strengthens family bonds in the long term.
Although
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 it can be emotionally difficult at
first,
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spending time apart often helps people realise how much they value their loved ones. When
students
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 return
home
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 during holidays or after graduation, they tend to appreciate family time more deeply.
This
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 distance can
also
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 improve communication and reduce everyday conflicts that might occur when living under the same roof. Of course, there are some disadvantages,
such
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 as homesickness or financial costs.
However
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, these challenges are usually temporary and are outweighed by the personal growth that
students
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 experience
while
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 living independently. In conclusion, living away from
home
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 during university provides valuable opportunities for
students
Use synonyms
 to grow as individuals and build stronger relationships with their families. For these reasons, I believe the benefits clearly outweigh the drawbacks.

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task achievement
Make sure to add a few more examples to support your main points.
coherence coherence
Use connecting words to help the flow of your essay, like 'firstly,' 'in addition,' and 'for example.'
coherence coherence
Your introduction is clear, but you could expand your conclusion by summarizing your key points briefly.
task achievement
You clearly expressed your opinion and supported it well with examples.
coherence coherence
Your essay has a good logical structure, which makes it easy to follow.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • independence
  • self-reliance
  • finance management
  • exposure
  • broaden horizons
  • open-minded
  • adaptability
  • conducive environment
  • isolation
  • homesickness
  • financial burden
  • household duties
  • academic responsibilities
  • personal growth
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