IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

A lot of people nowadays are spending too much money and they don’t save anything for future use. Is this a positive or a negative development?

In today's world, many
people
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 prefer spending their
money
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 rather than saving it. They often spend a large amount of
money
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 on a luxurious lifestyle without thinking about the future. In my opinion,
this
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 is a negative development because it can lead to serious financial problems and mental stress later in life. One of the main reasons why
this
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 is harmful to
people
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 is that it creates financial insecurity. Life is full of unexpected events
such
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 as illness, job loss, or family emergencies. Without saving
money
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, it becomes difficult to handle these challenging situations.
For example
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, someone who loses their job and has no savings may struggle to pay rent or buy food for their family.
As a result
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, they may go through a very difficult time. Another problem is that overspending often leads to financial debt. Sometimes,
people
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 buy everyday items using their credit cards. They fail to maintain a balance between their income and spending. In the long term, they may face serious problems managing important goals like buying a home or starting a business.
Moreover
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, financial debt can cause mental stress,
anxiety
Correct word choice
and anxiety
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, and even damage their credit history. In conclusion, spending too much
money
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 without saving is a negative trend. It can lead to financial risks and emotional stress in the future.
People
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 should maintain a proper balance between their income and expenses. The government should take
necessary
Correct article usage
the necessary
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 steps to encourage
people
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 to be more financially responsible. Public awareness is
also
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 important in
this
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 matter.
Otherwise
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,
this
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 issue may have a serious impact in the future

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure every paragraph has a clear main idea and stays on topic. This will help with logical flow.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your points. This will make your argument stronger.
task achievement
Try to provide a broader conclusion that emphasizes the impact of spending habits on society, not just individuals.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your opinion, which is a great start.
coherence and cohesion
You have organized your paragraphs well, making it easy to follow your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic instability
  • financial trouble
  • emergencies
  • economic downturns
  • financial security
  • long-term goals
  • higher education
  • retiring comfortably
  • paycheck to paycheck
  • stress and anxiety
  • mental health
  • stimulate the economy
  • generate employment
  • business growth
  • debt accumulation
  • consumerism culture
  • material goods
  • personal development
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