Doctors, nurses and teachers make a great contribution to society and should be paid more than entertainment and sports celebrities. Do you agree or disagree?

The world is more complicated today , and that includes how

jobs

Use synonyms

are

being

Verb problem

apply

show examples

paid. Some would argue that

careers

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such

Linking Words

doctors

Use synonyms

nurses

Use synonyms

and

teachers

Use synonyms

should be paid more.

However

Linking Words

, entertainers and athletes should be paid less. I totally agree with

this

Linking Words

statement.

This

Linking Words

essay will provide evidence to support my point of view. I agree with

this

Linking Words

statement for many reasons. First, professions

such

Linking Words

doctors

Use synonyms

nurses

Use synonyms

and

teachers

Use synonyms

should be treated with more respect.

Moreover

Linking Words

, these

jobs

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should be paid based on how hard they work. To add to that, these

jobs

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are considered difficult

Check wording

apply

show examples

jobs

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. They are difficult

due to

Linking Words

how hard they had to study , and

that

Change preposition

because

show examples

they are physical

jobs

Use synonyms

. Working as a doctor or a nurse , or a teacher means that they are always working and studying. Another reason why

doctors

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nurses

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and

teachers

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should be paid more is how important they are to society.

In addition

Linking Words

, people in society could not live without

doctors

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nurses

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and

teachers

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However

Linking Words

, they could live without

entertainmenters

Correct your spelling

entertainers

and sports celebrities.

It is clear that

Linking Words

doctors

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nurses

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and

teachers

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are important , and that was shown clearly when COVID-19 happened.

Last

Linking Words

but not least, they should be paid and treated

according to

Linking Words

how great their contribution is to society.

To conclude

Linking Words

, there are no

careers

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that can overcome medical and educational

careers

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However

Linking Words

, other

careers

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are

also

Linking Words

important , but not to the same extent as

doctors

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nurses

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and

teachers

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. To that end, they should be paid a decent amount of money.

alfred

Jul 5, 2025

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coherence and cohesion

Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea that connects back to your overall argument.

task response

Try to use more specific examples to support your points, especially in the body paragraphs.

task response

Improve the introduction by clearly stating your main argument and providing a brief overview of your points.

task achievement

You express a clear opinion on the topic and provide reasons to support it.

coherence and cohesion

Your conclusion summarizes your argument well, making it clear how you feel about the subject.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

257 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

contribution
essential services
long hours
stressful
well-being
development
entertain
inspire
exorbitant salaries
unfair
talented individuals
professions

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Doctors, nurses and teachers make a great contribution to society and should be paid more than entertainment and sports celebrities. Do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Some people think that watching sports in one's free time is just waste of time. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decided to do this